Life as I know it.
So I guess I've been thinking a lot lately, and I'm disappointed with how exactly my life is going.
Y'know, I lived a pretty good dream, (for myself anyways). I had all the friends, I went to the greatest party's, I fell in love, I threw everything i had away for that love consistently, I moved to different cities, I had the most explosive romances one can have...then I lost it, I lost everything.
There's nothing left to be excited about, the friends are gone, the hope's not there. I'm walking in circles, trying to get by. For what though? What exactly is the point of even trying to get by when in the end, none of this will matter anyways.
I could have a man, but I dont find myself attracted to any at all, aside from the one that I can do much better than...But does that explain anything? That I get along so perfectly with a man that has little to no respect for me, my feelings, or anyone in his life for that matter.
Maybe the problem is I had what I needed years ago, blew it, and I'm doomed forever to be consistently disappointed.
Everything is a pain in my body now. I can't wake without it, I can barely walk down the street I live on without hanging my head.
I'm not proud, I'm not happy, I'm the best actress alive I'd say.
But anymore it's beginning to become a struggle to make it through the days...I can't afford keeping up with the only god damn thing that makes me happy, (which is probably half of my problem to begin with.)
I can't afford to quit it either.
Something, has, to change.
"A life without love is a life not worth living."