(no subject)
8:42 AM 11/5/2009
The wi-fi here isn't working.
At the time in which I started typing this journal/blog: I am sitting in a waiting room at MDAnderson Cancer Hospital waiting for my dad to get/finish his MRI. His cancer is gone, but that cancer was the cause of the cancer that is killing my family. Things are far from being how they were pre-cancer. I don't blame my father for what has happened... I don't even blame God. It was just unfortunate that it did happen. My family has gone through so much turmoil for so long, and I'm starting to wonder when we'll finally catch a break. Money is tight, so much more so than we had been used to living in California. I never realized how spoiled I was, not by just material things, but I had everything I wanted when I was there.
I haven't blogged for a while; I don't blog much at all... though, right now feels like a good time to. It has been almost two years since I moved here (to Texas) and I only recently passed the stage where I have accepted the fact that I am here and not back to where I know as home. I still get homesick, but I'm not as sad as I used to be. I miss my friends immensely, but being here has helped me appreciate my family so much more; because despite how much I can hate them at times, I love them. They're always going to be there for me regardless of where I am or what happens.
In late August of this year, I took the first step in helping me move on. I finally, FINALLY, started school here. It had been 1 academic year + 1 semester + 2 summers since I had attended a school. I was anxious prior to starting, but since then, school has just been what it was before I moved-- a time-waster. For the longest time, I did not know what I want. I should've used the time in that academic hiatus that I was on to figure out what I wanted to do. More than halfway into the semester... and I'm still where I started. I have no idea what I want. Granted; I didn't take any enrichment classes this semester to help me "find myself," but I was trying to guide myself back onto the path of academia. ... It isn't working. I had grown to like this metaphorical dirt path I had been walking on. At the beginning of this semester; I was motivated. I was sick of tripping on the rocks that kept delaying me from getting where I needed to be. The classes I've been taking are the, safer, paved roads that people believe they need to be on in order to get to their destination. Some people are in cars and speeding down this road; others are riding their bikes. I took these classes so that I can get back in the car and finally get started to live my life again. I'm starting to realize that I don't like this road. There are more beautiful things to see on the foot path.
Anyway... I started this journal to help me get started on something else. This is me intending to get off the paved road to get lost and have an adventure, but don't worry; I have navigation. ;]
With that said; I'm leaving the "traditional" road of typical academia and I am going to attend Aveda Institute to get my certificates in Esthiology and Cosmetology. Though, despite the positive words said above about taking this "different path;" I'm still unsure. I mean, I'm excited about knowing what I'll be doing; but am I really going to enjoy this as a career? Making people pretty has always been fun to me; I just don't want to lose the joy. To be honest, I've never actually thought of going into cosmetology. It was others' perception of me that led me here. I am constantly getting told that work will never seem like work if I enjoy what I do. I hope that all that reassurance isn't just bullshit. But for now, I'm pretty sure there isn't going to be road kill on my path... and I'm happy about that, I guess.
//9:31 AM 11/5/2009
The wi-fi here isn't working.
At the time in which I started typing this journal/blog: I am sitting in a waiting room at MDAnderson Cancer Hospital waiting for my dad to get/finish his MRI. His cancer is gone, but that cancer was the cause of the cancer that is killing my family. Things are far from being how they were pre-cancer. I don't blame my father for what has happened... I don't even blame God. It was just unfortunate that it did happen. My family has gone through so much turmoil for so long, and I'm starting to wonder when we'll finally catch a break. Money is tight, so much more so than we had been used to living in California. I never realized how spoiled I was, not by just material things, but I had everything I wanted when I was there.
I haven't blogged for a while; I don't blog much at all... though, right now feels like a good time to. It has been almost two years since I moved here (to Texas) and I only recently passed the stage where I have accepted the fact that I am here and not back to where I know as home. I still get homesick, but I'm not as sad as I used to be. I miss my friends immensely, but being here has helped me appreciate my family so much more; because despite how much I can hate them at times, I love them. They're always going to be there for me regardless of where I am or what happens.
In late August of this year, I took the first step in helping me move on. I finally, FINALLY, started school here. It had been 1 academic year + 1 semester + 2 summers since I had attended a school. I was anxious prior to starting, but since then, school has just been what it was before I moved-- a time-waster. For the longest time, I did not know what I want. I should've used the time in that academic hiatus that I was on to figure out what I wanted to do. More than halfway into the semester... and I'm still where I started. I have no idea what I want. Granted; I didn't take any enrichment classes this semester to help me "find myself," but I was trying to guide myself back onto the path of academia. ... It isn't working. I had grown to like this metaphorical dirt path I had been walking on. At the beginning of this semester; I was motivated. I was sick of tripping on the rocks that kept delaying me from getting where I needed to be. The classes I've been taking are the, safer, paved roads that people believe they need to be on in order to get to their destination. Some people are in cars and speeding down this road; others are riding their bikes. I took these classes so that I can get back in the car and finally get started to live my life again. I'm starting to realize that I don't like this road. There are more beautiful things to see on the foot path.
Anyway... I started this journal to help me get started on something else. This is me intending to get off the paved road to get lost and have an adventure, but don't worry; I have navigation. ;]
With that said; I'm leaving the "traditional" road of typical academia and I am going to attend Aveda Institute to get my certificates in Esthiology and Cosmetology. Though, despite the positive words said above about taking this "different path;" I'm still unsure. I mean, I'm excited about knowing what I'll be doing; but am I really going to enjoy this as a career? Making people pretty has always been fun to me; I just don't want to lose the joy. To be honest, I've never actually thought of going into cosmetology. It was others' perception of me that led me here. I am constantly getting told that work will never seem like work if I enjoy what I do. I hope that all that reassurance isn't just bullshit. But for now, I'm pretty sure there isn't going to be road kill on my path... and I'm happy about that, I guess.
//9:31 AM 11/5/2009