(no subject)
i wish i knew what happened. i used to be so nice and fun.
maybe it's the fact i'm trying to pretend like it's okay. i mean i'm obviously not alright, but i tell everyone i am. but the thing is.. they should OBVIOUSLY know i'm not okay. but they don't do anything to help. i don't know. i can't really count on people. i don't want to burden people with my problems. i just wish someone would genuinely care. not care because they feel obligated to, or just because they can relate it to their own problems. how is that supposed to make me feel better?
and why the heck am i relying on other people to make myself feel better? i should be able to do that myself. SHOULD. AND NO I AM NOT JUST SITTING AROUND FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF.
i'm tired of only being happy whenever i'm occupying my time with something else. THAT IS NOT HAPPINESS. THAT IS FUCKING FAKE. when i am alone, by myself, with only my thoughts to keep me company. i want to be happy then. yeah. that's my goal.
maybe it's the fact i'm trying to pretend like it's okay. i mean i'm obviously not alright, but i tell everyone i am. but the thing is.. they should OBVIOUSLY know i'm not okay. but they don't do anything to help. i don't know. i can't really count on people. i don't want to burden people with my problems. i just wish someone would genuinely care. not care because they feel obligated to, or just because they can relate it to their own problems. how is that supposed to make me feel better?
and why the heck am i relying on other people to make myself feel better? i should be able to do that myself. SHOULD. AND NO I AM NOT JUST SITTING AROUND FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF.
i'm tired of only being happy whenever i'm occupying my time with something else. THAT IS NOT HAPPINESS. THAT IS FUCKING FAKE. when i am alone, by myself, with only my thoughts to keep me company. i want to be happy then. yeah. that's my goal.