(no subject)
i am young and i am unscrupulous. i am opinionated. i am irritated. i hate to complain; i do it anyway. when you've just come to the point when your reaction time is one of total and sheer acceptance, when your body has become somehow tuned into the insanity and you reach that point where it all makes sense, when it clicks, that's when you know. this place is fucked up. everyone here is insane, we don't speak. we put on the same clothes and pay the same money and we follow the same rules and we stay inside the lines. when we don't, we're wrong. we're bad people. we're terrible influences. it's almost as if we're all following this sort of group narcissism, and yet the tragic alternative is what? it takes a culture like ours to condition us into hating ourselves and the rest of life around us. our organic drives don't condone us to this routine we seem to so closely follow. we subject ourselves to it. we can blame society. humans have become "civilized" away from the environment we are emotionally wired for. "war is the normal state, peace the abnormal state" [machiavelli]. truth. there is human nature and there is human destructiveness. SOCIETY. it kills us. and the united states, for christ's sake. it's like we have to protect ourselves, protect everyone else, end apartheid, spread democracy, find a cure for fucking cancer and all the while maintain our dignity [albeit we lost that around vietnam]. all the while, looking out for our economic interests, or social needs [because god knows we have a few of those] and pay taxes. this was going somewhere a few minutes ago, but reading it over, i realize it makes no sense. whatever.