(no subject)
hi,
i'm in pasadena right nowand have been for the past week and it has made me realize how much i have grown in the past year. I realized that i am able to step outside of my feelings and realize why i feel certain ways and am able to control my actions a lot better. just because i feel like i want something doesnt mean that it is right for me, and i am able to appreciate that and just accept the fact that the way things are now is for the best for everyone and not be sad.
my grandparents moved to reno on friday, which was quite depressing. my grandmother gave me an envelope the hospital sent her when my mother died, the envelope was filled with all of her personal effects. last year i would have probably curled up in a corner and cried about how she is dead and probably held these shitty pieces of jewlery in such an exhalted way. Recently i have realized that it is incredibly childish to romanticize her in that way. i think i put her on a pedestool just because she's dead, but to be quite honest, i am glad (i'm not sure if that's the appropriate word or not) she died because i was put in a much better environment and was able to have a lot more opportunities. i am extremely grateful i was raised by my grandparents and not my mother, or the man that is assumed to be my father.
in anycase, it's bizarre to see your childhood home completely empty and know that it is no longer your home and no longer a safe place.
I've been working at numero uno all weekend and it's been great! i didnt make that much money in tips, but i was able to buy daniel an AWESOME gift for his birthday (on friday) and that's all that really matters.
if you want to hang out, give me a call : 626 297 4792!
love,
mari
i'm in pasadena right nowand have been for the past week and it has made me realize how much i have grown in the past year. I realized that i am able to step outside of my feelings and realize why i feel certain ways and am able to control my actions a lot better. just because i feel like i want something doesnt mean that it is right for me, and i am able to appreciate that and just accept the fact that the way things are now is for the best for everyone and not be sad.
my grandparents moved to reno on friday, which was quite depressing. my grandmother gave me an envelope the hospital sent her when my mother died, the envelope was filled with all of her personal effects. last year i would have probably curled up in a corner and cried about how she is dead and probably held these shitty pieces of jewlery in such an exhalted way. Recently i have realized that it is incredibly childish to romanticize her in that way. i think i put her on a pedestool just because she's dead, but to be quite honest, i am glad (i'm not sure if that's the appropriate word or not) she died because i was put in a much better environment and was able to have a lot more opportunities. i am extremely grateful i was raised by my grandparents and not my mother, or the man that is assumed to be my father.
in anycase, it's bizarre to see your childhood home completely empty and know that it is no longer your home and no longer a safe place.
I've been working at numero uno all weekend and it's been great! i didnt make that much money in tips, but i was able to buy daniel an AWESOME gift for his birthday (on friday) and that's all that really matters.
if you want to hang out, give me a call : 626 297 4792!
love,
mari