Jul 07, 2005 04:18
well, fuck.
This past weekend has been ridiculous.
I think I was half retarded for the whole thing.
xanax is quite a friend, but the whole memento state of mind isn't always rewarding. I'm glad to once again have complete control of my mind.
Takes intoxication to appreciate sobriety, right?
Just watched 'Saved' it was a pretty good movie. It's really late, or early, I realize now, actually, shit, it says 4:20 on my computer's time, although I think it's an hour off. It's probably closer to 3 something.
I love night, it is much better than day. Screw you, Day. You are hot and stupid.
Today...yesterday, I went swimming and cleaned/rearranged my room and closet including the dirty ass rat cage that's been chillin there with my poor rats inside. I'm sure they appreciate my efforts. There's a cockroach on my balcony wall, i give him props for climbing all the way up here so I'll let him hang out there. Much like Ty Bruce whom climbed up the damn wall with spidey like abilities to unlock my apt. That was super. Can't say I remember much of the weekend besides cracked out zach, some how changing my clothes over three days, buying dog food, Ty driving my car, and... calling a lot of people fucked up so I apologize to those victims of my stupidity.
I think the sun is rising... cute. Last night I had a strange outburst of emotion, granted alone, but weird nevertheless. I miss Mason a lot. I miss Dustin too. I miss a lot of people.
I think I'm wanting too much to fall in love again and not succeeding as usual which is never a good thing. The wanting to fall in love part and the failure, both. They shouldn't even be thoughts in my mind, I wish I cared more about other things but I guess I just want 'that' you know? everything that 'that' entails. Everybody wants it, it's nice.
There's something about a combination of the sunrise, this laptop on my balcony, and a cigarette that is oh so pleasant.
gee fucking wiz. Alright, enough of my jibber jabber and blah blah love blah blah sad blah blah crap. Someone help me out.