this is random, and full of complaining and bitchin and MY opinions.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. And Ive come to the conclusion that I try too hard and I care too much. And Im not giving myself credit for anything, its just personally how I feel. Im not saying Im some amazing person that puts everyone first & that bullshit, but, I care about people that Im close with. And you'd think I, having been though what I have, and and having lost who & what I have, that I would have fixed the way I am. But I havent. And I dont know how. Ive tried. But for some reason I have this fixation that I need people. To survive, to be happy, and to have a life. But ive relized I make myself feel that way, & think that way, & live that way. Its sickening. (hypothetically-->)If he doesnt want to be my friend b'c of something "he" said, Fiiiine, Fuck You. If she wants to lie to me about some bullshit and if she wants to talk shit, Fiiiine, Fuck Off. I dont need you. I dont need that.
Im just so fucking unhappy with what I rely on. Whatever happened to that steady base of my life that i used to have right under me. Whered all that go? Whyd all that go .. GoD and now I look back at it and wonder why i ever had all that bullshit in my life in the first place. It wasnt real, or true. It was a pile of shit and lies and everbodys fucking bullshit in this world making "their" egos feel better by betraying and screwing over the people that cared. Nobody cares about anybody but themselves. I guess maturity hasnt hit for like 94% people in this world. It'll never change.
Im sick to my stomach thinking back how much time i wasted. How much energy, and how much emotion.
Despite recent happenings, this is NOT directed towards anybody particularly. Only about people that now longer matter to me, nor are a part of my life.
People lose loved ones everyday,
so cherish who&what you have now,
with no regrets.
THATSIT,GOODNIGHT
Im just so fucking unhappy with what I rely on. Whatever happened to that steady base of my life that i used to have right under me. Whered all that go? Whyd all that go .. GoD and now I look back at it and wonder why i ever had all that bullshit in my life in the first place. It wasnt real, or true. It was a pile of shit and lies and everbodys fucking bullshit in this world making "their" egos feel better by betraying and screwing over the people that cared. Nobody cares about anybody but themselves. I guess maturity hasnt hit for like 94% people in this world. It'll never change.
Im sick to my stomach thinking back how much time i wasted. How much energy, and how much emotion.
Despite recent happenings, this is NOT directed towards anybody particularly. Only about people that now longer matter to me, nor are a part of my life.
People lose loved ones everyday,
so cherish who&what you have now,
with no regrets.
THATSIT,GOODNIGHT