if i could be anything id be medication for you..
it ended peacefully..
everythings been said..
sorry for the arguements..
sorry for the pain..
but dont worry ill never speak of this again..
the war of the words is over...
i never wanted to win...
im just sorry it had to end..
before it could even begin...
things changed..its for the best..
so now i protect my heart with this bullet proof vest..
im sorry its ( Read more... )
The arguing &fighting weren't getting us anywhere.
&We were fighting more than anything.
You did have me.
You were just too busy doubting to notice.
But you did.
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your right..you have been all along..
i was just too busy doubting you to notice you were always right..
i mean...i did..it showed..all the time..
just to busy again..but hey..your happy thats all that matters..
we were fighting more than anything..
where was that getting us nowhere..
nowhere..
cuz everytime i thought we were somewhere..
we werent cuz i was always doubting you..
dont worry..it makes perfect sense..
perfect...
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I even told you that.
I know my mistakes.
I know some of the things I said were wrong &I shouldn't of said them.
I know half of this perhaps more is my fault.
So stop saying that.
No, I never said you were " too busy to notice I was right ".
I said you were too busy to notice I was right THERE. With you.
As I was in your arms all you kept saying was " You don't really like me, do you ? "
Or the next day while we were hanging out, " You're going to break up with me tomorrow, aren't you ? ".
Joke or not, JayR, I didn't know how to take that.
I could defend myself &tell you the truth, but sometimes it seemed like you didn't want to listen.
It SEEMED like it, I'm not saying that you weren't.
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but you were right..
everything you say..is right..
seriously..in its own right..
you make alot of good points..
i never really noticed till now...
also you wanted me to joke with you..
then i did by saying stuff like that..
but i shouldve known better than to joke about a relationship
my fault..
i always wanted to listen..always..
i listened to you through everything..you know it..i know it.
i was there natalie..when alot of your "friends" werent..
i was..i wiped your tears away...
talked when you didnt wanna talk..
listened to you when noone else did..
if thats not what i did tell me?
but i dont really wanna argue about this..
its pointless right?
plus it is the past..
and i just gotta move on..
im not over you..but i just dont think we really need to argue..
cuz we dont..friends dont argue about this kinna thing..
right?
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But I didn't know that was the only way to joke.
You being there for me, JayR, meant the world to me... One of the many reasons why I fell for you in the first place.
It really meant the world ..
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regardless of whatever happens..or happened..
ive been there for you..
if you ever really wanted to talk to me..
i wouldve listened...
i wouldve..
havent i alwaysed..
us talking last night made me soo happy..
just talking..
it was great...
i want more moments like that..
till its not even a moment..just us talking..
i like talking..
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However, when it comes to talking about " us " I just feel like there's some ignorance there.
Idk.
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i guess i am just ignorant..
i know your not saying i am..
but thats just how i feel..
i feel ignorant..
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I just felt like, maybe you didn't want to hear anything bad that was going on between us ..
Idk.
&When did ignorance start being a bad thing ?
I wish I was more ignorant at some things ...
Maybe then I wouldn't always be thinking so much.
The type of thinking that gets me down. Maybe then I wouldn't worry so much.
Yeah ... Idk. Ignorance is bliss.
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hearts for you always!
ignorance is bliss?
thanks for that conversation..
i guess we really needed it..
im glad its all out there at least...
at least..
<333
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