I hope this helps more than it makes you angry.___brianalolzNovember 27 2009, 14:50:57 UTC
I'm going to say this and you might not like it. I have read the entry three times by now being indecisive, but I think that you need to hear it.
John's asshole family doesn't know shit about you because clearly they have never sat and had a chance to get to know the side of you that is smart, funny, caring and sweet. It just makes me sad to see you get in the way of yourself. You are an incredibly intelligent person, far too intelligent to sit in your room and hide from life. Your family will be punished by karma (perhaps they already have) for what they did to you. There is no excuse for something like that. But to let what they did cripple you for the rest of your life is a bigger crime even than what they did. For someone of lesser character and brains it would be okay to be a mess forever (weak, scared, evil, etc) but you are better than that. Some of the best success stories start out the most tragic. Think about the homeless to Harvard broad, or the people that escaped concentration camps to have children and lead normal lives. There are people that are mentally retarded that graduate college after 10 years of struggling through it and people that have gone from abused women shelters to CEOs of multi national corporations. Whatever you want to do, be it volunteering abroad, going to some fancy school wherever or having a home with a man that you really love, I believe that you are 100 percent capable of it, Joy. You don't need the approval of anyone else, the money from that judge or anxiety medication to get you through it.
I am no one to preach on being motivated. Clearly I am far more capable of procrastination and ruining my own life than your average person. But I also come from a similar standpoint and I really don't want to see you let this control you forever. My mother has sat back and watched me suffer with a smile on her face for years. I have been beaten within an inch of my life, and a lot of the people that I counted on to help me through that are gone now, be it death or their own selfish behavior that took them out of my life. For years I let it make me bitter and used it as an excuse for my self destructive tendencies, but after awhile I realized that all that it was leading to was me crashing and burning in the name of someone else's mistakes. You can't help what people did to you when you were a child, or even what they do to you now. But now that you are an adult and you have a sense of what is right and what is wrong, and what I believe to be a good head on your shoulders, you have to just start showing your ass to those people and take care of yourself.
Re: I hope this helps more than it makes you angry.__mouseNovember 28 2009, 16:47:04 UTC
It doesn't make me angr at all, sugar, and I appreciate the shit out of it. I certainly plan to try hard, though the confidence that I'm capable pales as time goes on, and soon the money for therapy (which is what I need even more than anxiety drugs and motivation or money for other shit) won't be a problem anymore and I'll finally be able to fill my days with normal activities instead of nameless forboding...it's just priceless to me to simply be understood and for someone to care to understand it is hard and I'm not taking the lazy easy road, but merely trying to stabilize myself enough to normalize myself and live my damn life, which as you know is all I want! It's just (as you well know) so hard and obnoxious and hurtful to be presumed upon and doubted when you're giving it your best effort just to not curl up into a small ball and hold your middle finger up to the world! Especially when I love their son so much and do so muh for him and tolerate so much from him and considering the insane whore-bitches they had to dea with before me...I just wish the man I love's family would love and accept and encourage me the way the Lumans do! I understand why they're concerned and bothered, but some understanding has to come into play on their part too...it just really hurts me to be misunderstood and misinterpreted by them, especially because they don't realize John is way more a party monster and disfunctional in his own, and in my ipinion, much more destructive ways... Also, someone told me something hilarious and/or rad about Germany I can't remember at the moment, but I was like MUST TELL B IMMEDIATELY...hoping I recall...
Re: I hope this helps more than it makes you angry.___brianalolzNovember 29 2009, 12:04:17 UTC
I'm in a similar position with you in life right now. Everyone I meet over here asks me how long I'm going to stay, how I plan to get residency, where I go to school, where I work, what my plans for life are and I don't have shit to answer. It doesn't make you a piece of shit to not have a plan, it makes you a piece of shit to not want one. My main point in that whole big long shannegan post is that you have to take baby steps and try to accomplish shit, even if it's little shit. I have a long list of things that I want to do and every day I put it off for another day. It depresses the hell out of me and that is just a prime example of the emotional toll that being unproductive takes.
My advice with John's family is to ignore them, because as badly as it hurts when someone else puts you down, they don't really even know what's up and I believe there is no better feeling than proving them wrong. It won't take you long to do that if you set yo mind to it.
John's asshole family doesn't know shit about you because clearly they have never sat and had a chance to get to know the side of you that is smart, funny, caring and sweet. It just makes me sad to see you get in the way of yourself. You are an incredibly intelligent person, far too intelligent to sit in your room and hide from life. Your family will be punished by karma (perhaps they already have) for what they did to you. There is no excuse for something like that. But to let what they did cripple you for the rest of your life is a bigger crime even than what they did. For someone of lesser character and brains it would be okay to be a mess forever (weak, scared, evil, etc) but you are better than that. Some of the best success stories start out the most tragic. Think about the homeless to Harvard broad, or the people that escaped concentration camps to have children and lead normal lives. There are people that are mentally retarded that graduate college after 10 years of struggling through it and people that have gone from abused women shelters to CEOs of multi national corporations. Whatever you want to do, be it volunteering abroad, going to some fancy school wherever or having a home with a man that you really love, I believe that you are 100 percent capable of it, Joy. You don't need the approval of anyone else, the money from that judge or anxiety medication to get you through it.
I am no one to preach on being motivated. Clearly I am far more capable of procrastination and ruining my own life than your average person. But I also come from a similar standpoint and I really don't want to see you let this control you forever. My mother has sat back and watched me suffer with a smile on her face for years. I have been beaten within an inch of my life, and a lot of the people that I counted on to help me through that are gone now, be it death or their own selfish behavior that took them out of my life. For years I let it make me bitter and used it as an excuse for my self destructive tendencies, but after awhile I realized that all that it was leading to was me crashing and burning in the name of someone else's mistakes. You can't help what people did to you when you were a child, or even what they do to you now. But now that you are an adult and you have a sense of what is right and what is wrong, and what I believe to be a good head on your shoulders, you have to just start showing your ass to those people and take care of yourself.
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Also, someone told me something hilarious and/or rad about Germany I can't remember at the moment, but I was like MUST TELL B IMMEDIATELY...hoping I recall...
Reply
My advice with John's family is to ignore them, because as badly as it hurts when someone else puts you down, they don't really even know what's up and I believe there is no better feeling than proving them wrong. It won't take you long to do that if you set yo mind to it.
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