017: I'm not drowning fast enough.
A day at the Barrymore household as a kid for Thanksgiving would consist of mom exerting herself in the kitchen with a bottle of wine she would have used to cook dinner with. For the day she would sit by the phone in case a handsome director called to tell her it was her lucky day and give her the movie role she was hoping for. My step-brother Johnathon would show up during the afternoon, and even at ten years old I knew he had either injected, snorted, or smoked something on his way to the house. He would leave after asking me for some money, my mom would go to work and I was left with the babysitter for the night. I would sit at the front window of my run-down house watching the family across the road sit down to enjoy a large meal and listen to their laughter that rang in my ears much like chimes. My father would realise what day it was during some hour in the pm and drunkenly break into the house to harass who ever was home.
What am I thankful for on this day? I'm thankful that my horrible past has made me a better person. I don't regret my misunderstood childhood, and becoming an adult at 12 before drinking myself into oblivion and becoming obsessed with relationships and teen boys to replace the void my father left in my heart. I'm thankful for every turn my life took. I make a point of not regretting anything, so much so that it was published in many magazines; "I never regret anything. Because every little detail of your life is what made you who you are in the end."
And who am I in the end? A good person, a humble person. When I lay my head down of a night and I can say I've been a decent person today, I feel beautiful. I'm thankful for my support, for my close friends. I'm thankful for such a good career, and for all of the lessons I've learned.
I'm much more fascinated by what everyone else is thankful for, do share.