(no subject)
crushed.. hurt... tired.. and all of the other feelings that go along with depression and sadness.
Ok, well long story short , mom is in trouble, sister hates me, dad thinks iam gonna to run away, and matt didnt trust me so we broke up. Not really by choice, well i guess it was better for him and his school and all of that crap, well not crap iam just being mean i guess.. i mean yeah iam hurt .. i didnt want it but if it will help him in anyway will stand by it and hope that maybe someday he will see or know that we are meant to be together. and if he doesnt then i hope that he will find someone who can make him see that they are the one since i never could. and a lot of it is my fault... i dont guess i tried good enough.. i thought i was.. but that is enough of that i dotn want to dwell on something that hurts me to think about.
anyway, i just got back fromt eh beach with the church.. we just went to get away froma the weekend. my sister called about 4 times to point out how wrong i was for doign that to her( not going to see her) when i knoe that it caused me more problems than i could handle. i eman god it hurt alot of things going on in my life right now, and i know it hurt her that i didnt come up even though daddy said no, but i dont want to hurt everyone , i but i guess the only one i didnt hurt in all o this is daddy, well i dotn know if it hurt matt but he wasnt happy with me going in the first place neways... thats about how my life has been.. iam now cleaning the office and about to go ride around and clear my head.. i really dont want to even be back in monroeville but i dont have much of a choice now do i......
Ok, well long story short , mom is in trouble, sister hates me, dad thinks iam gonna to run away, and matt didnt trust me so we broke up. Not really by choice, well i guess it was better for him and his school and all of that crap, well not crap iam just being mean i guess.. i mean yeah iam hurt .. i didnt want it but if it will help him in anyway will stand by it and hope that maybe someday he will see or know that we are meant to be together. and if he doesnt then i hope that he will find someone who can make him see that they are the one since i never could. and a lot of it is my fault... i dont guess i tried good enough.. i thought i was.. but that is enough of that i dotn want to dwell on something that hurts me to think about.
anyway, i just got back fromt eh beach with the church.. we just went to get away froma the weekend. my sister called about 4 times to point out how wrong i was for doign that to her( not going to see her) when i knoe that it caused me more problems than i could handle. i eman god it hurt alot of things going on in my life right now, and i know it hurt her that i didnt come up even though daddy said no, but i dont want to hurt everyone , i but i guess the only one i didnt hurt in all o this is daddy, well i dotn know if it hurt matt but he wasnt happy with me going in the first place neways... thats about how my life has been.. iam now cleaning the office and about to go ride around and clear my head.. i really dont want to even be back in monroeville but i dont have much of a choice now do i......