...
For once, though I probably would only admit it to a few people, I felt like I was really truely in love... I thought he was too. He said it so often. He always told me how he's never met anyone like me, how he's never felt this way before. I don't understand how he could see past all that, and decide that he doesn't want me anymore. I feel lied to. He told me this just DAYS ago... but yet he's recently told me that he's been hanging out with other girls for awhile now and realizing that he could be with them instead... So he's been thinking about this for more than just a few days... for longer than the last time he told me that he loved me so much.
I hate being so heartbroken, to the point that I'm throwing up, getting the shakes, can't eat, can't sleep, and having to pretend I've got food poisoning because I can't admit to my mom what really happened. I hate that I can't even cry until no one's home. I hate that he's acting completely over it... I hate that he probably hasn't even cried. I hate that this came out of nowhere. I hate that everything seemed so fine, and then all the sudden.... I hate that everyone expects me to get over this so god damn fast... And I hate that I can't...
I'm not sick anymore, and I can finally eat, even though nothing particularly tastes good and I have no appetite, but I keep going back and forth from being completely PISSED at him, to being so upset that I can't help but try to choke back tears.
I know we're young. I know I have a lot of time to see other people, but I don't want to now. And then again, I do. I hate myself for saying this, I feel vengeful, in a way... but I want him to want me back, just so I can tell him it's too late. I want to see him as upset as I am. It's terrible that I think that way, but it's true. I just want him to care how I feel.
I think it's just the worst feeling, when you love someone one way, but they don't love you back the same. Sure, our relationship was complicated, but I was willing to tough through it to make it work. I was willing to sacrifice. I feel like I gave too much, and he gave nothing. I feel like he gave up on me.
And now I'm back to the point where I am so disappointed... so MAD, and he disgusts me right now... HOW... How could he "love" me that much, and then think that he's misinterpreted his feelings? How could he say the things he said to me?
I've never been through this before, and now that I have... an actual heartbreak, I'm afraid to ever go through it again.
I wish I could just fast forward my life until I'm completely over him...
And I need to know where the fuck a Coldstone is...
I hate being so heartbroken, to the point that I'm throwing up, getting the shakes, can't eat, can't sleep, and having to pretend I've got food poisoning because I can't admit to my mom what really happened. I hate that I can't even cry until no one's home. I hate that he's acting completely over it... I hate that he probably hasn't even cried. I hate that this came out of nowhere. I hate that everything seemed so fine, and then all the sudden.... I hate that everyone expects me to get over this so god damn fast... And I hate that I can't...
I'm not sick anymore, and I can finally eat, even though nothing particularly tastes good and I have no appetite, but I keep going back and forth from being completely PISSED at him, to being so upset that I can't help but try to choke back tears.
I know we're young. I know I have a lot of time to see other people, but I don't want to now. And then again, I do. I hate myself for saying this, I feel vengeful, in a way... but I want him to want me back, just so I can tell him it's too late. I want to see him as upset as I am. It's terrible that I think that way, but it's true. I just want him to care how I feel.
I think it's just the worst feeling, when you love someone one way, but they don't love you back the same. Sure, our relationship was complicated, but I was willing to tough through it to make it work. I was willing to sacrifice. I feel like I gave too much, and he gave nothing. I feel like he gave up on me.
And now I'm back to the point where I am so disappointed... so MAD, and he disgusts me right now... HOW... How could he "love" me that much, and then think that he's misinterpreted his feelings? How could he say the things he said to me?
I've never been through this before, and now that I have... an actual heartbreak, I'm afraid to ever go through it again.
I wish I could just fast forward my life until I'm completely over him...
And I need to know where the fuck a Coldstone is...