she felt pulled between invincibility and desperation

[__mayfly]

Words are inadequate attempts to reassure ourselves that someone understands. If we label this feeling we can pretend that we know what it is.
Despondent, morose, contrite, regretful, subdued, stuck, weighed down,vulnerable, discarded, cloudy, colorless, empty, disconnected,limitless, desolate, insignificant, tired, pensive, worthless, solitary, forlorn, ugly, quiet, withdrawn