i'm starting over.

[__lovelynothing]

the man was looking for me.
and he couldn't find me.
and he didn't know why.
and thought it was his own confusion.
when all the while it was mine.

this time i'm starting over.
refreshed.
new.
reborn.
i do not really know who i am,
even though i'd like to pretend sometimes.
i am just a dreamer,
but you are just a dream.
for our escape i'd.
pull you u n d e r with me.
now.
my dear.
i've reached someplace else.
and words are filling in.
all vision has left me.
help me find.
and i will come aquiescently to you.

this time it's friends only.
i am, only me.
as a result,
i myself am the cause.
of all the suffering i have known.

this time i'll do it all differently.
we would be happy to do the millions of things.
that we are not able to do.
the will is there.
but we are not able to fullfill our desire.
thus when we feel a desire.
but we are unable to realize that desire.
we undergo a reaction we call suffering.
what is the cause of desire?

this time i won't let myself go blind.
i have made some twine.
with selfish ambition and thread.
and sewed up my cuts before i'd be dead.