I'm sorry that you're gone.
Oh, wow. I think it's time for an update. I got Xanga. :).
So...
Texas is Texas. School starts back up Tuesday. I'd be lying if I said I was excited. The only thing I'm excited about is a chance to bring up my grades. My grandparents and I came up with some new rules about school and stuff, when it comes to studying and homework and everything. I'm happy with them. I know it'll help me. So I have no complaints.
Hmmm.
Things with Andrew, oh, I don't know. He's a sweet kid. I just don't think he's interested in me...and normally I'm pretty good at figuring out whether or not someone likes me. He isn't answering his phone. I'm guessing he's asleep. Brandon isn't answering either. I'm guessing he's ignoring me. I love Brandon to death but I really don't know. Sometimes I want to shoot the kid in the face. I love being with him, and hanging out with him, I love talking to him and being around him even when he's acting like he's got some sort of mental retardation. He hangs up on me a lot. He never calls me back, which for some reason hurts. I don't have many friends here that I can really talk to...so I guess I confide everything into him. Which honestly isn't fair on his part. I suppose I shouldn't expect so much from one person. He always says he's there for me, and that I can tell him anything and everything...and I do mostly, but I really don't feel like he's listening. I really need someone to listen. I don't have my brothers, who really annoyed the hell out of me when I was living with them. But, I'm lonely now. I just need a good friend, someone who cares. Truth be told I honestly don't think I've ever had anyone who cared. I mean, really cared. Sorry If I annoy you, Brandon, dear. I just need someone to talk to, but I might as well be talking to a brick wall.
North Carolina. I miss it so much. And I can really say, that I do want to go back. The people I've met here are wonderful, and I already care about them so much, even though I'm sure they don't care about me nearly as much as I do them. Anyhow...I'm constantly thinking about the people back home. Even the ones who I'm sure aren't thinking about me. What's it like now that I'm gone? I'm constantly asking myself that. I wish I could see it. It's weird that I actually left. I think about Courtney and Shelby a lot. I think about Daniel a lot. I miss him and I feel like I shouldn't. I feel like I should hate him. But it's really the complete opposite. I was going to call him tonight, but I was scared that Ashlee was going to be there and I don't want to get her mad at him for talking to me. I'm happy for the both of them though. I hope what they have is real. I think about Wes, Danny, and Andrew a lot. I think about Kyle, Justin, Mary, Kyle R, Jack, Michael, Christian, Ashley, Lindsey, Jason, Jeff, Kayla, Michelle, Terra, Tyler, and Geoff. I think about Tony a lot. I think about Matt even, and how I wish things didn't end like they did. I think about my psycho neighbor, and the time Daniel barked at her. I think about Ben, and Jadrian. I think about Parker...How we don't talk at all anymore. I think about how perfect of a boyfriend he was. I guess I didn't see it then. I think about the people I had just met, Brian, Michael, Brandon, and Carter. Nathan. I'm constantly thinking about Nathan. I think about Heartwood and Almighty Flying Machine. Hahaha and Dylan! I think about Dylan. And Claytonnn! I think about how much I miss home and how thankful I am for the people I have there. How thankful I am that I got to spend a part of my childhood with them though it seems as if it were cut short. I hope everyone has a wonderful life, and I'll see you soon. I promise.
Hmm.
So I'm sure plenty of you didn't read this. It's okay.
I just needed to let it out
Since my best friend here...
Just isn't..."here" right now.
<3jes
So...
Texas is Texas. School starts back up Tuesday. I'd be lying if I said I was excited. The only thing I'm excited about is a chance to bring up my grades. My grandparents and I came up with some new rules about school and stuff, when it comes to studying and homework and everything. I'm happy with them. I know it'll help me. So I have no complaints.
Hmmm.
Things with Andrew, oh, I don't know. He's a sweet kid. I just don't think he's interested in me...and normally I'm pretty good at figuring out whether or not someone likes me. He isn't answering his phone. I'm guessing he's asleep. Brandon isn't answering either. I'm guessing he's ignoring me. I love Brandon to death but I really don't know. Sometimes I want to shoot the kid in the face. I love being with him, and hanging out with him, I love talking to him and being around him even when he's acting like he's got some sort of mental retardation. He hangs up on me a lot. He never calls me back, which for some reason hurts. I don't have many friends here that I can really talk to...so I guess I confide everything into him. Which honestly isn't fair on his part. I suppose I shouldn't expect so much from one person. He always says he's there for me, and that I can tell him anything and everything...and I do mostly, but I really don't feel like he's listening. I really need someone to listen. I don't have my brothers, who really annoyed the hell out of me when I was living with them. But, I'm lonely now. I just need a good friend, someone who cares. Truth be told I honestly don't think I've ever had anyone who cared. I mean, really cared. Sorry If I annoy you, Brandon, dear. I just need someone to talk to, but I might as well be talking to a brick wall.
North Carolina. I miss it so much. And I can really say, that I do want to go back. The people I've met here are wonderful, and I already care about them so much, even though I'm sure they don't care about me nearly as much as I do them. Anyhow...I'm constantly thinking about the people back home. Even the ones who I'm sure aren't thinking about me. What's it like now that I'm gone? I'm constantly asking myself that. I wish I could see it. It's weird that I actually left. I think about Courtney and Shelby a lot. I think about Daniel a lot. I miss him and I feel like I shouldn't. I feel like I should hate him. But it's really the complete opposite. I was going to call him tonight, but I was scared that Ashlee was going to be there and I don't want to get her mad at him for talking to me. I'm happy for the both of them though. I hope what they have is real. I think about Wes, Danny, and Andrew a lot. I think about Kyle, Justin, Mary, Kyle R, Jack, Michael, Christian, Ashley, Lindsey, Jason, Jeff, Kayla, Michelle, Terra, Tyler, and Geoff. I think about Tony a lot. I think about Matt even, and how I wish things didn't end like they did. I think about my psycho neighbor, and the time Daniel barked at her. I think about Ben, and Jadrian. I think about Parker...How we don't talk at all anymore. I think about how perfect of a boyfriend he was. I guess I didn't see it then. I think about the people I had just met, Brian, Michael, Brandon, and Carter. Nathan. I'm constantly thinking about Nathan. I think about Heartwood and Almighty Flying Machine. Hahaha and Dylan! I think about Dylan. And Claytonnn! I think about how much I miss home and how thankful I am for the people I have there. How thankful I am that I got to spend a part of my childhood with them though it seems as if it were cut short. I hope everyone has a wonderful life, and I'll see you soon. I promise.
Hmm.
So I'm sure plenty of you didn't read this. It's okay.
I just needed to let it out
Since my best friend here...
Just isn't..."here" right now.
<3jes