(no subject)
OK today was a bad day but yesterday was the worst. I just want everyone to know who i really am and stop guessing. Im not a hoe. Im not a slut. Im not a bitch. Im just a normal 14 year old trying to make as many friends as i can and trying to be nice to everyone. I hate when people say stuff about me when they dont know shit about me.. People say some stupid stuff and later they regret it. Even if they didnt mean it.. You always think about what they said. "your such a hoe" "Stop being a bitch" these are just a few things that keep me wondering if thats who i really am. But i know this happends to everyone and not just me. So i just want you all to know.. Im not a bitch, or anything else you may think. If you wanna know something all you have to do is ask me.. besides that..
Yesterday was horrible.. i had the worst stomache ache from being upset. There is always one person that you are really close to and then you end up liking them, and when you tell them how you feel about them.. they dont care, or they like someonelse. It hurts so bad knowing that one of your friends doesnt feel the same way as you think about them. It hurts really bad when you love someone so much that your willing to do anything for them. Some things i have realized are that.. Long distance friendships work, but long distant crushes dont. Some people were born asses. Some people arent good friends but you cant live without them eaither. Egh so many things that i have to learn.
Here is what happend if you are wondering..
I have liked this guy since last summer.. i saw him and i got to know him and i knew he was the one i wanted to be with. I told him once but he would change the topic and not answer.. So finally i made him tell me what he was honestly thinking. He didnt exactlly answer me.. he just asked if it would work.. that was my question.. he just wants to be friends.. i hate the saying.. just friends. It is one of the worst things a guy that you really love can say to you. I still love him, and i know that that feeling wont go away. I KNOW hes the one i wanna be with, i just dont think that im the one for him. I do want him to be happy, honestly but i wanna be happy to.. i wanna be happy with him.. I kinda wish that i never met this guy.. it hurts me so much whenever i hear his name or see something that reminds me of him.. hes being a jerk right now.. he doesnt care that hes hurting me.. so i think. Is that a real friend? No. But why do i still love him..? :(
Im done for today. Goodbye
Yesterday was horrible.. i had the worst stomache ache from being upset. There is always one person that you are really close to and then you end up liking them, and when you tell them how you feel about them.. they dont care, or they like someonelse. It hurts so bad knowing that one of your friends doesnt feel the same way as you think about them. It hurts really bad when you love someone so much that your willing to do anything for them. Some things i have realized are that.. Long distance friendships work, but long distant crushes dont. Some people were born asses. Some people arent good friends but you cant live without them eaither. Egh so many things that i have to learn.
Here is what happend if you are wondering..
I have liked this guy since last summer.. i saw him and i got to know him and i knew he was the one i wanted to be with. I told him once but he would change the topic and not answer.. So finally i made him tell me what he was honestly thinking. He didnt exactlly answer me.. he just asked if it would work.. that was my question.. he just wants to be friends.. i hate the saying.. just friends. It is one of the worst things a guy that you really love can say to you. I still love him, and i know that that feeling wont go away. I KNOW hes the one i wanna be with, i just dont think that im the one for him. I do want him to be happy, honestly but i wanna be happy to.. i wanna be happy with him.. I kinda wish that i never met this guy.. it hurts me so much whenever i hear his name or see something that reminds me of him.. hes being a jerk right now.. he doesnt care that hes hurting me.. so i think. Is that a real friend? No. But why do i still love him..? :(
Im done for today. Goodbye