some more complaining... it's what i do best.
So Britt just posted something on how she's been feeling lately... and seriously, I feel the exact same way. I know not all of oyu have read it, but whatevs.
i seriosuly feel sometimes like i have no friends at all. lucas has his friends BEGGING him to hang out with them becuase they haven't hung out in a long time. and it made me realize, none of my friends have ever done that to me. like... i don't even know. i'm tlaking to keeley right now. and over the summer, this gilr adn i weree like, freaking inseperable if we lived closer [i knwo that doens't make sense, but it does to me] and now that school's started, we hardly ever talk. i used to be able to tell her EVERYTHING. like, more than anybody else. but things just change sooo quickly and way too fast for me to keep up with.
a lot of times i feel like lucas is all i have when it comes to friends, and then he's so busy with wrestling. and if he's not wrestling he's too tired, or it's too late for me to hang out wtih him. and i feel like i take him away from his friends, even though he claims i don't... i just know i do.
i miss abby and alli a lot. i don't want too, becuase i know they don't miss me no matter what they say. they've become so fake and good at lying that most of the time i can't even tell. i mostly miss abby since i went to her with everything. in 6th grade, i "became a woman" if you might say. and she was the first person i told besides my mom. adn she promised me that i would be the first person she told too becuase she was mad our other friends didn't tell her but claimed they told her everything. so she promised me she would. and idk why i make it a big deal, btu she didn't tell me. and just, i odn't know... for osme reason it kinda just shows me that we really aren't friends anymore. we don't talk, and now i don't even try becuas eit just breaks my heart that i know she doesn't mean a word she says.
i feel like i just want to break down, but it's hard for me to cry in front of lucas, and i really don't know why. kind of like i'm embarassed or soemthing, but at the same time i'm not. it really doesn't make sense.
i just hate that i don't have a best friend. some peopel say "oh you don't need a best friend".... and maybe they're right, but it really does help. it helps a lot. i need someone that doesn't care how much i complain, and i know i do it a lot, and i really don't try... but i just need to let all this shit out somehow. but i can't find like, anybody who will jsut listen. i don't even care about someone giving me advice, just osmeone to listen.
but this is long enough, there iwll probably be more likethis... i don't know.
i don't know a lot of things....
i seriosuly feel sometimes like i have no friends at all. lucas has his friends BEGGING him to hang out with them becuase they haven't hung out in a long time. and it made me realize, none of my friends have ever done that to me. like... i don't even know. i'm tlaking to keeley right now. and over the summer, this gilr adn i weree like, freaking inseperable if we lived closer [i knwo that doens't make sense, but it does to me] and now that school's started, we hardly ever talk. i used to be able to tell her EVERYTHING. like, more than anybody else. but things just change sooo quickly and way too fast for me to keep up with.
a lot of times i feel like lucas is all i have when it comes to friends, and then he's so busy with wrestling. and if he's not wrestling he's too tired, or it's too late for me to hang out wtih him. and i feel like i take him away from his friends, even though he claims i don't... i just know i do.
i miss abby and alli a lot. i don't want too, becuase i know they don't miss me no matter what they say. they've become so fake and good at lying that most of the time i can't even tell. i mostly miss abby since i went to her with everything. in 6th grade, i "became a woman" if you might say. and she was the first person i told besides my mom. adn she promised me that i would be the first person she told too becuase she was mad our other friends didn't tell her but claimed they told her everything. so she promised me she would. and idk why i make it a big deal, btu she didn't tell me. and just, i odn't know... for osme reason it kinda just shows me that we really aren't friends anymore. we don't talk, and now i don't even try becuas eit just breaks my heart that i know she doesn't mean a word she says.
i feel like i just want to break down, but it's hard for me to cry in front of lucas, and i really don't know why. kind of like i'm embarassed or soemthing, but at the same time i'm not. it really doesn't make sense.
i just hate that i don't have a best friend. some peopel say "oh you don't need a best friend".... and maybe they're right, but it really does help. it helps a lot. i need someone that doesn't care how much i complain, and i know i do it a lot, and i really don't try... but i just need to let all this shit out somehow. but i can't find like, anybody who will jsut listen. i don't even care about someone giving me advice, just osmeone to listen.
but this is long enough, there iwll probably be more likethis... i don't know.
i don't know a lot of things....