When the pimps in the crib ma, drop it like it's hot...
I was just thinking...and realized that I've had some amusing car experiences in the last week. So yes, you guessed right, I'm going to share.
Car trauma #1: On Tuesday, Jesse, Lauren, and I decided we wanted to go to 7-11 during lunch to satisfy our weekly red slurpee cravings. We weren't more than five minutes away from the school when Jesse turned down the radio and screamed "Holy shit, there's a fucking spider on my mirror." So, instead of being a normal person and just killing the spider and continuing on her merry way, Jesse decided to pull over and LEAP out of the car, leaving Lauren and I inside as the car slowly continued down the street. Now, as you can probably imagine, it took me a few seconds to gather my thoughts and realize what had just happened. As soon as I did, I took my seatbelt off and climbed across to the driver's side to park the car while Lauren reached across from the backseat to kill the spider with a Starbucks cup. Jesse is so melodramatic. I love it.
Car trauma #2: Yesterday my sister wanted to go get a drink from the store and asked me to go with her, and of course I gladly accepted the invite simply because I needed a hit of diet coke and a pack of Starburst have that much love for my sister. So anyway, right when we pulled up my sister goes, "Kristie, LOOK, it's Nick." (Nick being our nineteen year old neighbor//guy my sister has had a crush on forever). Ok, I admit to being blind as an effing bat, but I knew from first glance that the guy in the car next to us wasn't Nick. But alas, she insisted otherwise. So as I'm reaching for my wallet (.000017 seconds later would be my guess), I hear my sister gasp and then say, "No fucking way, look again." So I pretended to be fixing my hair in the rearview mirror (trying to keep things casual) and look over only to see this guy (who was totally not Nick) literally ONTOP of some chick, all but getting it on with her in the front seat of his car. I felt the stomach flu coming back, I kid you not. I fucking loathe PDA. Holding hands, casual kissing, etc. is fine. But groping and slobbering all over each other in front of a public establishment in broad daylight? Not cool. So then I'm getting out of the car and I'm almost up to the door when I hear my sister say "Oh shit," and I turn around only to find that she locked the keys in the car with the car still running. Perfect. Mr. Lets-Make-Out-And-Make-Everyone-Nauseous-In-The-Process got my sister so flustered because he looks almost identical to Nick that she stupidly locked her keys in our only source of transportation. So there we are, no cell phones, standing outside in the cold, trying to avoid looking at the aforementioned couple as we call my brother on a pay phone to come bring us the extra set of keys. Nice.
Car Kristie trauma #3: Tonight I had to go outside in the cold (wearing pink boyshorts, a tank top, and my white fuzzy south pole boots, nonetheless) to get the John Mayer CD my sister stole from my car and put in her CD player. When I started the car Snoop Dogg's Drop It Like It's Hot was playing and although I despise both Snoop Dogg and that song, I got the urge to get on my knees, straddling the passenger seat, and dance/sing/act like a crazy motherfucking idiot as the song blasted. So in the middle of my head-and-hair-thrashing dance, I heard a knock on the window and was on the verge of freaking out until I saw it was Alex. The boy was laughing hysterically, I'm not even kidding you. This marks the beginning of the snowball fight we engaged in for about twenty-five minutes in my front yard. Oh, and I was laughed at once again when my lovely neighbor/friend Tara came out to join us and saw my attire.
I swear to God, it's nights like these I wonder how I possibly have as many friends as I do.
I don't know how you guys put up with me. I really don't.
Car trauma #1: On Tuesday, Jesse, Lauren, and I decided we wanted to go to 7-11 during lunch to satisfy our weekly red slurpee cravings. We weren't more than five minutes away from the school when Jesse turned down the radio and screamed "Holy shit, there's a fucking spider on my mirror." So, instead of being a normal person and just killing the spider and continuing on her merry way, Jesse decided to pull over and LEAP out of the car, leaving Lauren and I inside as the car slowly continued down the street. Now, as you can probably imagine, it took me a few seconds to gather my thoughts and realize what had just happened. As soon as I did, I took my seatbelt off and climbed across to the driver's side to park the car while Lauren reached across from the backseat to kill the spider with a Starbucks cup. Jesse is so melodramatic. I love it.
Car trauma #2: Yesterday my sister wanted to go get a drink from the store and asked me to go with her, and of course I gladly accepted the invite simply because I needed a hit of diet coke and a pack of Starburst have that much love for my sister. So anyway, right when we pulled up my sister goes, "Kristie, LOOK, it's Nick." (Nick being our nineteen year old neighbor//guy my sister has had a crush on forever). Ok, I admit to being blind as an effing bat, but I knew from first glance that the guy in the car next to us wasn't Nick. But alas, she insisted otherwise. So as I'm reaching for my wallet (.000017 seconds later would be my guess), I hear my sister gasp and then say, "No fucking way, look again." So I pretended to be fixing my hair in the rearview mirror (trying to keep things casual) and look over only to see this guy (who was totally not Nick) literally ONTOP of some chick, all but getting it on with her in the front seat of his car. I felt the stomach flu coming back, I kid you not. I fucking loathe PDA. Holding hands, casual kissing, etc. is fine. But groping and slobbering all over each other in front of a public establishment in broad daylight? Not cool. So then I'm getting out of the car and I'm almost up to the door when I hear my sister say "Oh shit," and I turn around only to find that she locked the keys in the car with the car still running. Perfect. Mr. Lets-Make-Out-And-Make-Everyone-Nauseous-In-The-Process got my sister so flustered because he looks almost identical to Nick that she stupidly locked her keys in our only source of transportation. So there we are, no cell phones, standing outside in the cold, trying to avoid looking at the aforementioned couple as we call my brother on a pay phone to come bring us the extra set of keys. Nice.
Car Kristie trauma #3: Tonight I had to go outside in the cold (wearing pink boyshorts, a tank top, and my white fuzzy south pole boots, nonetheless) to get the John Mayer CD my sister stole from my car and put in her CD player. When I started the car Snoop Dogg's Drop It Like It's Hot was playing and although I despise both Snoop Dogg and that song, I got the urge to get on my knees, straddling the passenger seat, and dance/sing/act like a crazy motherfucking idiot as the song blasted. So in the middle of my head-and-hair-thrashing dance, I heard a knock on the window and was on the verge of freaking out until I saw it was Alex. The boy was laughing hysterically, I'm not even kidding you. This marks the beginning of the snowball fight we engaged in for about twenty-five minutes in my front yard. Oh, and I was laughed at once again when my lovely neighbor/friend Tara came out to join us and saw my attire.
I swear to God, it's nights like these I wonder how I possibly have as many friends as I do.
I don't know how you guys put up with me. I really don't.