Thinking as I type, typing as I think.
I have a 750 word paper due for psych, which would normally be no problem. Except I can't seem to concentrate.
Psychology: Paper due the 11th, test on Chapters 1-4 on the 13th.
Atronomy: Start doing homework now instead of waiting two weeks and trying to get it all done at once.
US History: 8-10 page essay due November 1st. No clue when first test is b/c the jackass hasn't said anything about it yet.
Math: Do this weeks homework and last weeks b/c I was a bum and didn't do it. Must be ready to be turned in on test day, September 27th.
I'm taking my national certification exam on November 7th.
There. Um... wow. I think I'm easily overwhelmed. 'Cause just listing those few things out is makin' me wish I could say, "fuck all this!" and go buy another bag. But! No more buying pot! Got to get my life on track.
Keni wants to "do something" on Sunday. I have no idea what he has in mind, but he asked if I was still with DJ before asking me if I wanted to do something, so... I dunno. I'm really not that interested in being intimate with Keni. But, I wanted something to do on Sunday so I'd have a reason to cancel DnD (if DJ doesn't on his own) and if Keni wants to hang out or take me out or whatever, he can be my guest - as long as he's a gentleman. I just hope I'm not getting myself into any more trouble - I'm really, really, really uncomfortable with any kind of physical advances at the moment, and so far those are the only kind of advances Keni has attempted. Hopefully, Keni'll be callin' me back with Good News later tonight and when I go pick them up, I'll find out what he has in mind for Sunday. If he's all about the sexin' (like if he brings up his blonde bi friend and a hotel room again), then I'll just have to politely explain that I'm not up for that kinda thing just yet. If I wasn't still feeling all mixed up about things, I definitely would go for it - I like blondes and tall, lanky black men, so having both at once would likely be a very good time. But... I'm just not ready for more meaningless sex after discovering every time I gave myself to DJ, it was meaningless. Hopefully Keni'll understand and won't be a jerk about it. And hopefully he'll have what I called about - but I suppose it's no big deal if he doesn't... it'll save me $40.
Besides... I don't really want to be kissed by anyone except for Will. Not at the moment. He's the only guy who has ever treated my kindly, or like I'm more than just a piece of ass.
I guess I'm tired of using and being used. I want someone I actually care for on a deeper level.
I want my life and everything in it to have meaning.
Man. What a huge fuckin' attitude change on my part. I think it's for the better.
/personal revelation
Psychology: Paper due the 11th, test on Chapters 1-4 on the 13th.
Atronomy: Start doing homework now instead of waiting two weeks and trying to get it all done at once.
US History: 8-10 page essay due November 1st. No clue when first test is b/c the jackass hasn't said anything about it yet.
Math: Do this weeks homework and last weeks b/c I was a bum and didn't do it. Must be ready to be turned in on test day, September 27th.
I'm taking my national certification exam on November 7th.
There. Um... wow. I think I'm easily overwhelmed. 'Cause just listing those few things out is makin' me wish I could say, "fuck all this!" and go buy another bag. But! No more buying pot! Got to get my life on track.
Keni wants to "do something" on Sunday. I have no idea what he has in mind, but he asked if I was still with DJ before asking me if I wanted to do something, so... I dunno. I'm really not that interested in being intimate with Keni. But, I wanted something to do on Sunday so I'd have a reason to cancel DnD (if DJ doesn't on his own) and if Keni wants to hang out or take me out or whatever, he can be my guest - as long as he's a gentleman. I just hope I'm not getting myself into any more trouble - I'm really, really, really uncomfortable with any kind of physical advances at the moment, and so far those are the only kind of advances Keni has attempted. Hopefully, Keni'll be callin' me back with Good News later tonight and when I go pick them up, I'll find out what he has in mind for Sunday. If he's all about the sexin' (like if he brings up his blonde bi friend and a hotel room again), then I'll just have to politely explain that I'm not up for that kinda thing just yet. If I wasn't still feeling all mixed up about things, I definitely would go for it - I like blondes and tall, lanky black men, so having both at once would likely be a very good time. But... I'm just not ready for more meaningless sex after discovering every time I gave myself to DJ, it was meaningless. Hopefully Keni'll understand and won't be a jerk about it. And hopefully he'll have what I called about - but I suppose it's no big deal if he doesn't... it'll save me $40.
Besides... I don't really want to be kissed by anyone except for Will. Not at the moment. He's the only guy who has ever treated my kindly, or like I'm more than just a piece of ass.
I guess I'm tired of using and being used. I want someone I actually care for on a deeper level.
I want my life and everything in it to have meaning.
Man. What a huge fuckin' attitude change on my part. I think it's for the better.
/personal revelation