(no subject)

[__kiska__]

I can't seem to get it together. Tears flowing down my face? This again? It doesn't help a thing, not a god damned thing. The disgusting tasting water, staining my face, leaving streaks down my red and blotchy face... I'm so disraught. I'm disraught because I just don't feel like me. Because I can't remember the last time I did feel like myself. I can't remember the last time I didn't have something weighing me down. I can't remember when or why I became unable to look people in the eye.

What the hell happened to me and how do I get me back?