(no subject)
It is my belief that all people have gone through at least some kind of emotional hardship at one point or another in their life. Otherwise life wouldn't be life, eh? There has to be obstacles to overcome, tragedies to endure... blah de fucking blah.
But does everyone go through trauma? Does everyone have some Dark Secret residing in the back of their minds?
I also believe in karma. Kinda. The thought that doing good things will lead to good things and doing bad things will eventually wind up biting you in the ass appeals to me. How could it not?
I'm just wondering what the hell I did, in this life or a past life, to deserve the shit I've gone through. I mean, yeah, I deserve some of it - I haven't been the most shinning example of All That is Good in the World. But that's only been in the most recent of years.
I took quite a beating. I can't sleep on my right side because it hurts. The marks on my neck sting all day - a constant reminder. There are bruises on my legs and on my arm. I want them to heal. I want all of it to heal. Every part of my body hurts. I feel like I can't be that upset about the bruises and the pain, though - I did fight back, after all. I left scratch marks; a bite mark on his thigh from when his elbow was wedged into my throat so I couldn't move or breath. He's missing a patch of hair. I, of course, am more beat up... but what do you expect when a little 5 foot girl whose never been in a fight before has to take on a 6 foot plus man?
The things he said... oh, the things he said. Why should I forgive that?
All over a phone call... not even something big...
He says I'm the only one whose ever made him violent. Do they always say that?
How did I become everything I've been warned about? Why am I that girl? Where has my ambition and my backbone disappeared to? Has sanity left this place for good?
The important thing to remember is... nothing in life is permanent, unless you make it that way.
My god, I need a change.
But does everyone go through trauma? Does everyone have some Dark Secret residing in the back of their minds?
I also believe in karma. Kinda. The thought that doing good things will lead to good things and doing bad things will eventually wind up biting you in the ass appeals to me. How could it not?
I'm just wondering what the hell I did, in this life or a past life, to deserve the shit I've gone through. I mean, yeah, I deserve some of it - I haven't been the most shinning example of All That is Good in the World. But that's only been in the most recent of years.
I took quite a beating. I can't sleep on my right side because it hurts. The marks on my neck sting all day - a constant reminder. There are bruises on my legs and on my arm. I want them to heal. I want all of it to heal. Every part of my body hurts. I feel like I can't be that upset about the bruises and the pain, though - I did fight back, after all. I left scratch marks; a bite mark on his thigh from when his elbow was wedged into my throat so I couldn't move or breath. He's missing a patch of hair. I, of course, am more beat up... but what do you expect when a little 5 foot girl whose never been in a fight before has to take on a 6 foot plus man?
The things he said... oh, the things he said. Why should I forgive that?
All over a phone call... not even something big...
He says I'm the only one whose ever made him violent. Do they always say that?
How did I become everything I've been warned about? Why am I that girl? Where has my ambition and my backbone disappeared to? Has sanity left this place for good?
The important thing to remember is... nothing in life is permanent, unless you make it that way.
My god, I need a change.