Should I write myself out of the history books...
....and mark a place in time for every chance you took?
Oh, hey! What's up, livejournal? Didn't even remember you still existed, little guy! No, I'm just kidding! I could never forget about you!
I usually start off with something along the lines of "Life has been *insert adjective here*.....", but I don't think I'm gonna do that this time for the sole reason of I don't really know how life has been. Sure, there have been some really really great highs, but there have also been some terrible lows that I don't really want to think about anymore. I'm pretty sure that I've lost or am slowly losing one of my best friends while the other one is leaving me soon enough and that's enough to make me not want to think about how life has been or will be in the next coming months.
School is finally over....or well, almost over. I have one more final that is optional and, being the slacker I've turned into somewhere along the lines, I don't think I'm going to take it even if it will help me. I think I made out really well this year and I'm quite proud of myself. Taking six classes was a little insane; I'll admit it. But I'm happy that I was able to complete them all and all of them successfully. Now, it's time to do it again in the Fall.
I'll be spending the summer at home. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it, but there really isn't anything I can do about it. I've had countless people tell me "Oh, you're a grown woman. Stand up for yourself once in a while and do what you want for a change." What they don't get is that I kind of want to go home. I miss being home with all of the people I used to go to school with, even if I hated them most days. It's familiar and I can use some security in my life right now. I'm excited to be at the church again because my mom is a badass and doesn't take anything from anyone and it's funny to see her get pissed off. Plus, she shares an office with a really cute boy that may or may not let me sing in his bandzi. And I'm excited to see my friends from high school and just catch up with stuff.
I need to get out of Kennesaw for a little while. Too much bad has gone on here for me to stay and be submerged in it any longer. Everything with him and what should or shouldn't have happened. A friend of mine tonight said something to me that I really needed to hear: At least the summer will put more than just the distance of mileage between you. And I need that mileage more than anything right now. I need think Summerfest 2k8 is exactly what the doctor ordered.
I wrote in my last post that there was no reason to have negative energy surrounding every aspect of my life and I still believe that wholeheartedly. It's just a lot harder than I thought it would be to give up who I am to be who I want to be mainly because I don't exactly know who I want to be. But I'm learning. And I'm trying. Still. Because someone wrote this a few days ago and I've not stopped reading it: "I told her that not trying was suicide. But breathing in and out, putting one foot in front of the other, smiling, not stopping ... well, that was loving. That was learning to love yourself." Because not trying is suicide.
Considering I haven't updated in, oh, a good two months, I'll give small recaps about the highlights:
Lauren's birthday was probably the best birthday party we've ever thrown. Considering we've thrown 3 (including hers), that's probably not saying much, but it so is. "It's time for cupcakes and games!". Baby! The creepiest kid alive was in my house. Boyfriend kicking everyone's ass in Scene It!. "You can turn me on if you want...". Baby! Smirnoff Strawberry Acai...need I say more? "Why don't you just kiss me?!" That was said from one boy to another.....boy. Dave trying to get me hammered every time we hang out. The infamous massage of August 2007 making a "blink and you'll miss it" appearance. I hate Lauren. Mojo. "Dave is a boy." Hair eating all the spinach dip. Toby. "I said fucking bowling first!" Sheppard eyes. Did I mention "baby!"?
Lauren's birthday (day 2): cleaning Dan and Dave's house = scariest endeavor I've ever volunteered for. More creepsters asking me to do illegal and immoral things. Finn Finn Finn Finn. Shady stalkers spotted me at the Olive Garden. The shortest 90 minutes of my life. Best meal I've had in a while. Jim Sturgess is officially my new boyfriend. 21 makes me want to go be a card counter. Why are all of my future aspirations either completely illegit or illegal?
Okay, that's all that happened really. So I was pretty lame these last two months. Meh.
Oh, by the way, can someone please explain to my father what is and isn't appropriate conversation topics to have with your daughter in front of extanded family? Because sex is not one of them. Thank you.
Ah yes. Just for the record, "Charlie Bit My Finger...Again" is the funniest thing I've ever seen. If you see me, I will probably say "Ouch, Charlie!" a good 30 times in the first five minutes. You've been warned.
1. Publix Fudge Brownies. Yum-o
2. July 9th - Warped Tour, Atlanta GA. Meow. Jack's Mannequin is the only band I want to see. Sorry Weebee and Chizzy. You guys suck.
3. New music. Gimme your bands. I've had an obsession with lyrics the past few days and I need bands that have lyrics that will make your mind buzz. Like Brand new and Radiohead.
4. Massage Envy
5. 21 to come out on DVD asap. Kthnx.
6. Angels and Airwaves on repeat. I cannot live, I can't breathe unless you do this with me.
7. A new episode of Greek.
8. A new issue of Cosmo and AP.
9. Bahama Mamas.
10. A nice guy to smile at me and give me small butterflies.
11. (Because I can). High school.
That officially had to be the weirdest beginning to a post I've ever done. Please forgive me for that one. And this also has to be the most scatter-brained posts in history. I'm trying to remember shit that happened over 60 days ago. Meh.
Make all of my decisions for me.
I've never taken a fall for deceit.
We'll keep a secret if you keep me guessing.
The taste of your lips says we shouldn't of met like this.