knowing nothing is better than knowing a t a l l
i am so extremely confused
i'm so in love but at the same time i know what i deserve and it's not that
i have never had a more complicated decision to make in my life, and i think we all know how bad i am with decisions.. i usually decide and then after decide i really wanted the latter.. and it sucks cause i don't want that to happen with this. i want this to be the right decision and everyone is telling me what i should do but i know. sometimes the right things are the hardest to do but i don't know if it's right. i wish i could have a moment of clarity. but at the same time if it was given to me i would probably disregard it and exchange it for a feeling i thought i had. but i'm just so lost and confused right now. i can't even believe this, still. and i can't believe i slept there 2 nights in a row. still. even if i do decide to stay i need to show him i am not taking this lightly.. it's not like he went out and did drugs to set himselfback, and hurt himself, he directly affected our relationship, and hurt me. it had nothing to do with him, he hurt me. and i don't know if i can be willing to put my feelings on the line one more time to see if he can do the right thing when he gets off of house arrest.. this is my conflict right now, and it never sleeps.
i'm so in love but at the same time i know what i deserve and it's not that
i have never had a more complicated decision to make in my life, and i think we all know how bad i am with decisions.. i usually decide and then after decide i really wanted the latter.. and it sucks cause i don't want that to happen with this. i want this to be the right decision and everyone is telling me what i should do but i know. sometimes the right things are the hardest to do but i don't know if it's right. i wish i could have a moment of clarity. but at the same time if it was given to me i would probably disregard it and exchange it for a feeling i thought i had. but i'm just so lost and confused right now. i can't even believe this, still. and i can't believe i slept there 2 nights in a row. still. even if i do decide to stay i need to show him i am not taking this lightly.. it's not like he went out and did drugs to set himselfback, and hurt himself, he directly affected our relationship, and hurt me. it had nothing to do with him, he hurt me. and i don't know if i can be willing to put my feelings on the line one more time to see if he can do the right thing when he gets off of house arrest.. this is my conflict right now, and it never sleeps.