Sunlight
So I haven't written in like a weekish.
Let me catch you up.
The weeks are going by just as fast as in fall semester, but I can't help but want them to be over now.
Last Tuesday the Viola Studio had their Viola Studio Recital. I played unaccompanied Bach, Allemande from the G major Suite. A few people were there. Kacie and Lisa were among probably four people that weren't string players. I think there were seven people in the audience not including the violists and our teacher.
Hah. It was held at noon..so I didn't expect a lot of people to be there.
I did well I think. My teacher told me I did a remarkable job. So :] kacie and lisa also said i did well, but that i looked so nervous.
i was.
rewind to that morning though.
this is how my day started.
"Hey, Jamey, when's the last time you went to the fire department?"
"Um...I don't know...Elementary School?"
"That's too bad because you're smoking hot this morning."
talk about cheesy hit lines.
it was hilarious.
i obviously was not expecting it because i seriously thought about the answer.
i've never been hit on like that. it definitely made my day a whole lot funnier.
my friend got offended because he was like "I hit on you all the time!"
but not with cheesy lines. so then he understood.
also, i started going to the gym on wednesday.
it's nice.
i didn't go this weekend. big mistake.
i'm going in a little bit here because i feel like shit. i don't know how long i'll be there. hopefully a while and i can burn lots of calories.
anywho, not much is new except having the worst cabin fever ever.
also, last night i started crying for god-knows-why and as much as i want to reach out to someone, i'm too stubborn to let myself stay in that state.
i don't know what i'd say, but i could still cry and talk right?
i just pushed it back inside and went to sleep.
=not healthy.
i reached out to kacie, but then didn't let her be there.
i almost called ben height.
i sent james a text message.
but i wasn't blunt enough to anyone but kacie that there was problem and i needed someone.
*shakes head*
i don't even know why i needed to be comforted.
i really hate being alone.
i really hate being as emotionally driven as i am sometimes because i read into things other people don't think about as much.
syntax.
tone of voice.
body language.
stuff like that.
the point is, sometimes i just feel people aren't being honest or that they are apathetic because of these things.
somethimes that true
with reuben, he's like an exception to the rule.
he functions so much more differently than any male i've ever known.
but i tend to flock to males that are like me.
so there's my problem.
but sometimes, i don't feel like he means that he loves me because of the tone of voice he says it in.
but it's usually before bed and he's dead tired.
so it's his, i'm exhausted tone which is fine.
and i KNOW he loves me.
but i am still having problems getting past tones.
i'm working on it. i really am.
but ok..
enough about that.
i don't even know what brought that up.
I think i'll go start my laundry.
Let me catch you up.
The weeks are going by just as fast as in fall semester, but I can't help but want them to be over now.
Last Tuesday the Viola Studio had their Viola Studio Recital. I played unaccompanied Bach, Allemande from the G major Suite. A few people were there. Kacie and Lisa were among probably four people that weren't string players. I think there were seven people in the audience not including the violists and our teacher.
Hah. It was held at noon..so I didn't expect a lot of people to be there.
I did well I think. My teacher told me I did a remarkable job. So :] kacie and lisa also said i did well, but that i looked so nervous.
i was.
rewind to that morning though.
this is how my day started.
"Hey, Jamey, when's the last time you went to the fire department?"
"Um...I don't know...Elementary School?"
"That's too bad because you're smoking hot this morning."
talk about cheesy hit lines.
it was hilarious.
i obviously was not expecting it because i seriously thought about the answer.
i've never been hit on like that. it definitely made my day a whole lot funnier.
my friend got offended because he was like "I hit on you all the time!"
but not with cheesy lines. so then he understood.
also, i started going to the gym on wednesday.
it's nice.
i didn't go this weekend. big mistake.
i'm going in a little bit here because i feel like shit. i don't know how long i'll be there. hopefully a while and i can burn lots of calories.
anywho, not much is new except having the worst cabin fever ever.
also, last night i started crying for god-knows-why and as much as i want to reach out to someone, i'm too stubborn to let myself stay in that state.
i don't know what i'd say, but i could still cry and talk right?
i just pushed it back inside and went to sleep.
=not healthy.
i reached out to kacie, but then didn't let her be there.
i almost called ben height.
i sent james a text message.
but i wasn't blunt enough to anyone but kacie that there was problem and i needed someone.
*shakes head*
i don't even know why i needed to be comforted.
i really hate being alone.
i really hate being as emotionally driven as i am sometimes because i read into things other people don't think about as much.
syntax.
tone of voice.
body language.
stuff like that.
the point is, sometimes i just feel people aren't being honest or that they are apathetic because of these things.
somethimes that true
with reuben, he's like an exception to the rule.
he functions so much more differently than any male i've ever known.
but i tend to flock to males that are like me.
so there's my problem.
but sometimes, i don't feel like he means that he loves me because of the tone of voice he says it in.
but it's usually before bed and he's dead tired.
so it's his, i'm exhausted tone which is fine.
and i KNOW he loves me.
but i am still having problems getting past tones.
i'm working on it. i really am.
but ok..
enough about that.
i don't even know what brought that up.
I think i'll go start my laundry.