(no subject)
recently i've spent my time thinkin alot.
and when im not thinkin im pretty much day dreaming.
i dont kno wat to do nemore.
but this weekend more of just today. goin outside.
andjust standing there in the sun w/ the wind blowing. felt really good.
im not totlaly sure wat i've been thinkin bout even. but
i've decided to try some random things out for the rest of the month.
they're really hypocritacal when compared. but w/e.
im just sick of the feeling ihave towards everything.
and i feel so bad w/ the way i treat ppl.family.just life in general.
i should really be greatful for wat i have cuz i do have it good.
i just seem to never be happy w/ wat i have till its gone.
im just soo sick of all this stuff.
i wish for once someone could see that theres a seperate person appart from my surroundings in me.
i've deff been lettin small things get to me for no reason.
and it almost seems as if im lookin for things to blow up at.
and i really dont kno y. i kno there has to be somethin that started this all.
but i just dont kno how long ago it all mustve started.
im afriad tomove on. yet i want to. im afraid to keep lookin bak though i need to.
im sick of wanting new things to happen, when im afraid of change.
im just bored w/ the way things are. but i keep thinkin that if they change.
wats the chance that it'll be ne better.
i got a job which i like but im bored of
i finally can drive but im bored of it
so many things that i've been wanting that i finally get i just seem to be bored of now.
i need sometin to preoccupy my self w/. and im really sick of the way i'm seen.
i wanna change. i wanna do somethin new. different. more just not me.
so many things have been pointed out to me. bout who i am.
or who im becoming. or wat im gonna end up doin.
and im soo scared that im gonna fail somewhere along the line.
i kno i have soo much time ahead of me. but idk i just cant help the feeling.
and i admit it-- im hurting myself with things i've been doing to myself.
and i kno i need to change it. but it seems that the only way to find some
confidence or hope is to continue.
i really dont expect neone to understand wat im talkin bout.
but just kno that this is wats goin on in my head for right now.
--♥
and when im not thinkin im pretty much day dreaming.
i dont kno wat to do nemore.
but this weekend more of just today. goin outside.
andjust standing there in the sun w/ the wind blowing. felt really good.
im not totlaly sure wat i've been thinkin bout even. but
i've decided to try some random things out for the rest of the month.
they're really hypocritacal when compared. but w/e.
im just sick of the feeling ihave towards everything.
and i feel so bad w/ the way i treat ppl.family.just life in general.
i should really be greatful for wat i have cuz i do have it good.
i just seem to never be happy w/ wat i have till its gone.
im just soo sick of all this stuff.
i wish for once someone could see that theres a seperate person appart from my surroundings in me.
i've deff been lettin small things get to me for no reason.
and it almost seems as if im lookin for things to blow up at.
and i really dont kno y. i kno there has to be somethin that started this all.
but i just dont kno how long ago it all mustve started.
im afriad tomove on. yet i want to. im afraid to keep lookin bak though i need to.
im sick of wanting new things to happen, when im afraid of change.
im just bored w/ the way things are. but i keep thinkin that if they change.
wats the chance that it'll be ne better.
i got a job which i like but im bored of
i finally can drive but im bored of it
so many things that i've been wanting that i finally get i just seem to be bored of now.
i need sometin to preoccupy my self w/. and im really sick of the way i'm seen.
i wanna change. i wanna do somethin new. different. more just not me.
so many things have been pointed out to me. bout who i am.
or who im becoming. or wat im gonna end up doin.
and im soo scared that im gonna fail somewhere along the line.
i kno i have soo much time ahead of me. but idk i just cant help the feeling.
and i admit it-- im hurting myself with things i've been doing to myself.
and i kno i need to change it. but it seems that the only way to find some
confidence or hope is to continue.
i really dont expect neone to understand wat im talkin bout.
but just kno that this is wats goin on in my head for right now.
--♥