Good eye, sniper. I shoot. You run.
I just made an entire huge ginormous orgasmic entry about my cruise and then erased it. Fuckmeintheass ahh. Lets try again.
Cruises are absolutely incrediable. A big floating hotel with the sea air and everything is gorgeous and you're treated like a queen. Shrimp shelled for you, steak cut. Water poured, chairs pushed in, napkins set on your lap. I am royalty. And here are the highlights!
(Day 1) Getting On!
+ Gorgeous room with a balcony
+ Going on a cruise with really good friends who we dont see enough
+ Swimming in the pool with Jenna
+ The sailaway celebration! Our ticket to a spot in the "Cruise in Review" DVD
+ Watching us disembark or embark or sail away or leave or whatever Miami to calypso music. Its cool to see all of the people in motor boats waving to you from so far down.
+ Viewing the dining room (Magellan, bitches!) and changing our table to have more fun.
- Muster drill in the swealtering heat wearing a hot sweaty life jacket and standing like sardines (B13!)
+ The whistle and light on the life jacket. Thank you, Titanic.
+ Exploring the ship and "oohing and ahhing" at the shopping mall thing (Royal Promenade), and the ice rink...etc.
+ The "Welcome Aboard Show!" featuring a comedian (George Kanter) with a balancing act and other stuff.
+ "Hello Clo" our cruise director (Clodagh O'Connor from Ireland)
+ Meeting our table mates - a lovely family of four from England.
+ Meeting our waiters (Richard and Simeon <-- i love this name!) from India and Bulgaria respectively. Everything is so diverse on these ships, I love it. And they did magic tricks for us =0)
- The teen club was pretty beat, sorry Joey
+ The first night of letting the ship lull me to sleep
(Day 2) Getting Off! (just kidding) First day at sea/Formal night
+ First Bingo of the cruise!! The best 35$ you will ever waste buying a card with numbers on it that you wont win with. Saw thecanadianboy for the first time. He won!
++ Pool Volleyball!! Met Billy, he invited me to join the team (soon to be the "Free for Nothings") and a bunch of other cool people (Mike/Alex/Bobby)
+++ Beating the drunk guys in volleyball by doing close to nothing! =0)
+ The bellyflop competition and the drunk guy with the ass shorts
+ An interesting ice carving demonstration...outside in the heat. It was melting the entire time so im not so sure it was well thought out. They make it look easy though
+ Muchos hot tubbing with Jenna!
+ Primping for hours (straight hair!)
+ Lots of pretty pictures and a great meal to top it off with
+ The theatre production "History Repeating"...a bit campy but fun and interesting. I just dont think Backstreet Boys songs should enter musical theatre. I guess I'm just old fashioned like that.
+ Running into C.B. a thousand times on the Promenade and him not recognizing me.
+ Our first towel animals and pillow mints! We got a dog-looking thing! yay!
(Day 3) San Juan, Puerto Rico!
+ Roll Out of Bed Bingo! Our second go at it. Hellz yeah for a free t-shirt. Billy joined us for this round. Another 35$ down the drain.
+ Watching us sail into the first port of call.
- The absurd amount of rain we encountered upon arrival.
-/+ Old San Juan walking tour. It was raining half the time and swealtering the other. Not too much fun. However, i did take a lot of awesome pictures and danced in the rain at the brink of my insanity.
+ Dinner was italiano night! The waiters sang for us tonight. Everyone went rowdy much like the hockey games, except there was no fighting...cursing...anger...or nudity. I guess it was more like the football games then. A wonderful time
+ I can't exactly remember what I did that night. Maybe just wandered around or something. Im sure I had fun though.
+ Second towel animal. A swan! I impersonated it and it was excellent. Awesome picture.
+ And soon I was off dreaming of things.
(Day 4) St. Maarten/Martin!
- I have a feeling we woke up pretty earlyish for this.
+ After yesterdays tour we were not looking forward to this, but it was on an air conditioned bus so I kind of ignored the guide and took pictures.
+ Beautiful island...and a lot of very nice cars. I was impressed to say the least
+ Flea Market we stopped at on the tour
+ Lots and lots and lots of shopping everywhere
+ Getting our free "diamond" charm bracelets
+ Getting Sam's mommy a present there that I hope she will like
- Having a 70$ lunch of cheeseburgers and pizza with terrible service.
+ Eating raw sugar cane for the first time and watching the guy cut it with a machetti
+++ THE BEACH! Probably the most fun Jenna and I had. There was a bit of a storm so the rain and wind helped make bigger and stronger waves for body surfing!
+ After that nothing really mattered for the rest of the day because we were happy =0)
+ More shopping
+ Getting back on the boat is always one of the best parts. Ahhh the air conditioning and duty free liquor...
+ The ice show, Planet Ice! It was really weird and made almost no sense at all, nor dollars (hahahahah im so funny). The skaters were incrediable though...even the guy who fell twice. Im so impressed by skating...I can hardly stand up on skates so what these people do amazes me.
+ Buying drinks at the bar though I am far underage
+ Caribbean Night dinner! Tonight instead of the Italian singing, we danced...the macarena to be precise. The entire dining room stood up and then boogied down. SO much fun.
+ The Love and Marriage game show! This was pretty much the same as the newlywed game. A newlywed couple, 10ish years married couple, 20 or 30 something years married couple are the contestants. Questions range from cute to raunchy and most of the answers were hilarious.
+ Caribbean party on the Promenade (moved inside because of inclement weather) A little crowded but I ran into Billy again, of course.
+ Another animal (ELEPHANT!), a few more mints, and a good night's sleep.
(Day 5) St. Thomas!
- Waking up unnecessarily early once again to immigrate. We thought it would be some long process but it was a simple scan of the SeaPass and mark of the card. Thanks mom. The 5:45 wakeup call was totally neccessary.
+ Breakfast in the dining room with a Brooklyn family. The father of the family was lactose intolerant and works in a hospital. We spoke of my EMTism and it was a good time
+ Getting a VERY expensive tanzanite/diamond/opal ring. Yeah, i know, completely neccesary and everything.
+ More shopping
+ Getting a charm for the free bracelet
- More shopping
+ Finally, climbing into an air-conditioned bus to go to Magen's Bay beach
+ Snorkeling in the bay with Jenna and seeing a huge ass fish
+ Dinner at Portofino's, fancy Italian restaurant.
+ Dining next to the captain and his wife
+ DESSERT!
+ Win-a-Cruise Bingo!! 40$ down the drain and not a cruise in sight.
+ "The Quest" scavenger hunt with Billy. If anyone goes to sleepaway camp this is "Panic" but raunchier. No naked people here though, we stopped at underwear.
+ Dancing Through the Decades. We danced!
- Fight with mommy because we lost track of time
+ STING RAY! my favorite towel animal.
+ Watched the Terminal and fell asleep.
(Day 6) 2nd Day at Sea/Formal night
+ Spa treatments...facial, scalp massage (meow), and foot/ankle massage
+ Working out in the gym (or any gym) for the first time. 10+ minutes of treadmill, hell yes!
+ Breakfast at the windjammer, mushroom ommelette
- Working on my bio packet before getting in the pool
+ Talking to a 50ish year old bio major trying to help me with the bio and saying it was above what he could handle
+ Volleyball game round two. We didn't win this time, terrible calls. Still fun but a little dissapointing.
+ Spending the day poolside with mah peeps
+ Trying to juggle
+ 2nd formal dinner, LOBSTER!!! mmm. twas delicious. Richard made us chicken curry that was divine. No dessert though, I was waiting for later.
+ Judy Kolba with everybody. However, I could barely understand what she was saying and it made no sense at all...so we left.
+ MIDNIGHT CHOCOLATE BUFFET!!!
+ Jenna acting all drunk after eating 12 chocolate covered strawberries (Grand Marnier, perhaps?)
+ MONKEY TOWEL ANIMAL!! and it hung from the ceiling. How cool is that?
(DAY 7) Nassau, Bahamas
+ Waking up at 6 in the morning to watch the sunrise with Billy/sir on the balcony
+ Sitting and watching Anchorman while Sir packed
+ The Atlantis
+ Renting a room but never going into it to use the water slides/pools and see the aquarium
+ Tube slide with Jenna through the shark tank
+ 60 foot straight drop waterslide by myself
+ "The Challenger"
+ swimming all day there
- Lunch was around 70$ again and the people were assholes. I had a good burger though.
+ More shopping
+ Got another charm for the charm bracelet, a sand dollar
+ Getting back on the ship
+ Farewell Show. I teared. It was really sad and the cruise was really ending. And the entire crew clambered on stage for us to see. It was gorgeous.
+ Dinner was shrimp cocktail and vegetable curry because I didnt like the Mahi Mahi I ordered (tempura aint no joke). The brownie wasnt as fabulous as expected either.
++ I GAMBLED! We had some extra cash and out of nowhere my mom offered me 20$ to go blow in the casino so I obliged and Billy joined. My mom actually won a hand on the 25$ blackjack table, but lost it right after. B and I wasted almost all of the money on the quarter machine in attempt to get a 20$ bill. It was a very fun game though, my favorite.
+ Late night adult comedy with Billy. We took a risk and sat in the second row and miraculously did not get made fun of.
+ Went back to the room with Billy and sir. She invited him up with us. We talked on the balcony until 2:30 and it was excellent.
This morning I called him at 6:30 to wake him up and we came to our room and we headed down to Marlene's room and then up to breakfast. After that we headed back to Marlene's room to get our bags and it was time to say goodbye =0(
I miss the Explorer. A picture post will follow soon.
Love you all