(no subject)
i feel really blah tonight and i don't know why. superblah, even. addie and i have taken up residence in the cave.*
i was feeling better about the whole pauler thing, because we're talking mostly normally again, so i don't think that's it. we talked last night and the thing that kept resonating in my mind is the end of season one (? i think) of nip/tuck when kimber has christian tied to the bed, and she says, "why couldn't you just love me." and that's basically how i feel right now.
i found a college that i really want to go to. it's the university of south carolina, and they have an adjoining med school, which (usually) means their undergrad pre-med program is very good. it's in columbia, which is pretty and not too far from the beach, and i like it a whole bunch. i hope i get accepted. i also really liked the university of vermont, but their deadline has passed.
my goal for this week is to narrow down my colleges and apply to them. i'm going for a northeast school, my dream school (USC), and another southern/mid-southern school. or maybe two northeasts. idk. shrug. but that's my goal because then next week i can send all my transcripts out.
there's this boy, carl, that i sort of know because he works at the sam's club pharmacy and we see him all the time, and he likes me. and i guess i could see if he wanted to go out, because he seems really nice, but idk. he's very intimidated by me, i think, because he'll ask questions that are directed towards me, but he'll look at my mom the whole time. i added him to my myspace and he left a general comment, and. i don't know. i think maybe i'll wait to see how it goes with alex, first.
the only good thing about life being shitty for me is that it motivates me to do things because i don't want to sit around and think about my shittiness.
also, sara sweetnarcosis wrote me maddison porn because she loves me, and it made me feel better. ♥ ♥
* i don't remember if i ever explained this, but addie maddie508 and i have built our own cave for times such as these. there is a bed, for snuggling, a tv, food, a laptop, dvds, etc. everything needed to make it a cozy adventure. basically, we go in when we're sad/blah/mad/whatever. and occasionally, adds sells lemonade outside to raise money for our adventures. my level of well-being is often determined on how far into the cave i am.
i was feeling better about the whole pauler thing, because we're talking mostly normally again, so i don't think that's it. we talked last night and the thing that kept resonating in my mind is the end of season one (? i think) of nip/tuck when kimber has christian tied to the bed, and she says, "why couldn't you just love me." and that's basically how i feel right now.
i found a college that i really want to go to. it's the university of south carolina, and they have an adjoining med school, which (usually) means their undergrad pre-med program is very good. it's in columbia, which is pretty and not too far from the beach, and i like it a whole bunch. i hope i get accepted. i also really liked the university of vermont, but their deadline has passed.
my goal for this week is to narrow down my colleges and apply to them. i'm going for a northeast school, my dream school (USC), and another southern/mid-southern school. or maybe two northeasts. idk. shrug. but that's my goal because then next week i can send all my transcripts out.
there's this boy, carl, that i sort of know because he works at the sam's club pharmacy and we see him all the time, and he likes me. and i guess i could see if he wanted to go out, because he seems really nice, but idk. he's very intimidated by me, i think, because he'll ask questions that are directed towards me, but he'll look at my mom the whole time. i added him to my myspace and he left a general comment, and. i don't know. i think maybe i'll wait to see how it goes with alex, first.
the only good thing about life being shitty for me is that it motivates me to do things because i don't want to sit around and think about my shittiness.
also, sara sweetnarcosis wrote me maddison porn because she loves me, and it made me feel better. ♥ ♥
* i don't remember if i ever explained this, but addie maddie508 and i have built our own cave for times such as these. there is a bed, for snuggling, a tv, food, a laptop, dvds, etc. everything needed to make it a cozy adventure. basically, we go in when we're sad/blah/mad/whatever. and occasionally, adds sells lemonade outside to raise money for our adventures. my level of well-being is often determined on how far into the cave i am.