(no subject)
dinner was deeelicious. i'm glad i went! i had my chicken breast, and then some asparagus, a few scallops, fried mushrooms, and some mushroom soup that had crab meat in it. i also had a smirnoff's and two cosmos (which, in case you were wondering, are made with 4 shots of vodka, 2 shot of triple sec, 3/4 shot of lime juice, and the rest is cranberry juice.. that's in one mixer, which makes three drinks. and i had two. so. woot). but yes, i'm glad i went. it got my mind off of things, at least for a little while. and hey, who doesn't love alcohol. maybe i'll have my crab balls now.
also, she says she's not mad at me and whatever. i feel bad that i'm hindrancing her happiness, but. i'm still mad that she found a boyfriend, and i'm stuck here. alone. still. yet, i'm still a burden to her -- at least that's what i feel like, since she can't be entirely happy or whatever because of me. life sucks.
mostly i just want to crawl up and cry a lot. i wish i did have school this week so i could distract myself because i am excellent at denial, and messy when i have to deal with feeling-type things.
also, she says she's not mad at me and whatever. i feel bad that i'm hindrancing her happiness, but. i'm still mad that she found a boyfriend, and i'm stuck here. alone. still. yet, i'm still a burden to her -- at least that's what i feel like, since she can't be entirely happy or whatever because of me. life sucks.
mostly i just want to crawl up and cry a lot. i wish i did have school this week so i could distract myself because i am excellent at denial, and messy when i have to deal with feeling-type things.