...stuffy...
so yeah. i'm just realizing now, that im slacking, im not going out as much as i used to, to go to shows mostly i need people to hang out with! no one wants to hang out with me! am i that bad of a person!? and i love how i get complimented and "your pretty" and crap like that yet i couldn't get a boyfriend if my life depended on it, life sucks as of now and im trying to make the best of it if anyone reads this and lives NEAR salem, MA....IM ME on AIM! duckiesg0mo0 . i cant live like this anymore seriously, i need a life and its not like i dont have friends, i do, plenty, cept some live far...hours away and some live close...5 minutes away, THAT CANT GET OUT OF THEIR HOUSE (ahem ma-becca) i've like turned into my mother! jesus h. merciful christ in heaven (sorry, its a habit) but yano, i need a life, a boyfriend (a GOOD one? maybe this time.) i just cant deal with shit anymore, every one of my friends has a boyfriend or girlfriend and me, no ofcourse not why would I have a boyfriend of all people, do i suck THAT bad at life? what did i do wrong? and can i fix it? am i ugly? i mean what the hell is wrong with me? but im not one of those people that goes into a depression rage and goes OOO im gonna go cut myself...thats bullllllshit. kiddies, if you want attention, do something else, no one pays attention when you do that shit you actually push them away. whattt the fuck! i want my life straightened. badly. i want a normal fucking life! is that too much to ask? the only thing i dont want from a normal life is my father, who is a low life piece of shit that you step on in the dark. he things he can juggle 2 women...and hes getting away with it, yep thats my piss poor excuse for a father. oh yeah..and even my BROTHER can get a girlfriend! he changes his girlfriend like he changes his haircolor! man, i dont know, i need a life, job, boyfriend...anything. im lonely, so very lonely, if you or anyone you know would like to fill the spot of my boyfriend, c'mon and IM me, talk to me, i know it sounds like im in NEED of a boyfriend, but truly i just want someone, a friend, someone to chill with would be nice yano? but it would be nice to have a boyfriend. but it doesnt look like thats gonna happen even though i do like someone very very very very much. no matter how hard i try i can't have him. and i know i cant and that just sucks! but yeah. im gonna finish this up because its rather long for one of my journal entries, so i'll write later today or tomorrow.
ciao!
[sarah]
ciao!
[sarah]