(no subject)
you dont ever realize what you have until its gone. one minute your talking on the phone with your best friend and laughing together and the next day your laying on your bed listening to sappy love music while crying your heart out wondering what went wrong and why this is all happening. everything happens for a reason, but you still cant quite figure out what the reason for this is. maybe your suppoesed to stay friends? maybe your not suppoesed to date? its never gonna be quite clear why its happening. hes not even your best friend anymore, your not even close, its just like the day you met. you barely talk...you get the butterflies when he calls you to say 'whats up?' and the nervous feeling in your gut. its hard to believe its even happening. you have your friends telling you 'please dont give up, it'll work out i promise' even tho you know deep down inside you cant ever get back what you lost. it hurts the most knowing everything you've been wanting for almost a year was right in front of your eyes and you didnt know it. he told you to go and find someone new so you did...it was just rebound even tho he doesnt realize it. No matter how many people tell you its gonna be fine you dont want to believe it, no guy is ever worth your tears everyone says. you've cried way too many times over him and look how close you two have got. he was your best friend, the only guy you could ever trust, finally someone who didnt like you for your looks. It was one simple night that made everything crash and burn. Its amazing how in a few hours you can go from being best friends with someone to being a person they think they dont know anymore. "i know how you are now" doesnt mean anything to you, you've changed this summer while this is the time they got to know you finally, even though your not the girl you used to be. everyones saying you've changed and its not for the better which hurts esp when it comes from your friends. you'd do anything to get him back, you didnt mean to hurt him it wasnt intentional. Its like a dream...everything seems to be perfect, your happy and laughing and keep on going on about how good life is, then you wake up and nothing is what it seems. your hurt and crying inside. you just pretend to be happy to hide from him how much you hurt, its not a fun feeling. He says your never gonna be close to you again, he cant be hurt...your sitting there reading everything he has to say and shutting your eyes real tight and opening them to have a tear fall down your cheek....you never ment to hurt him, you care about him so much beyond belief, you'd do ANYTHING to get him back, but he doesnt seem to care...hes so afraid of getting hurt that he doesnt want to take any chances. if only he had told you how he felt....maybe then none of this wouldnt of happened?
maybe you just need to try and let go...its going to be the hardest thing ever. esp since you finally heard that he wanted you, and was gonna ask you out but u go and make the stupidest mistake of your life. you're never gonna get out how sorry you are and how much he means to you. its just going to make things worse
maybe you just need to try and let go...its going to be the hardest thing ever. esp since you finally heard that he wanted you, and was gonna ask you out but u go and make the stupidest mistake of your life. you're never gonna get out how sorry you are and how much he means to you. its just going to make things worse