Lame
These last couple of days have been extreme opposites. Super elated >> in pieces strewn across a certain floor >> desperate >> hopeful >> ok again. If my memory serves me right, I've never hit rock bottom for anyone. First time for everything I suppose. I couldn't take deep breaths, my lungs felt as if they had collapsed, I had a look about me that was probably something like death but what do I know? And I lost a lot of weight. In one day. From not being able to eat, from so much stress, from getting sick with worry and million other factors.
All came out ok though, and even though that was the greatest scare I've had in a long while, I'm glad it happened. I learn from mistakes and that was a lesson if I ever had one. I'm feeling better now, I can eat a little but not a lot and my breathing still seems just a tiny bit difficult. Heartbreak sucks...or rather, the bit prior to it. I'd like to think I got a small taste but it didn't last long. I believe everything is fixed.
Anyway, the days before were great. On Thursday, Beth, Cassidy, Ashley, Brittany and some of their friends came and had dinner in Grand Island. It was almost a complete DF reunion but not quite. We had dinner at The Chicken Coop and then went bowling and played some DDR. I'm horrible at both in case anyone wondered. The next day wasn't quite as fun but that was all a fault of my own. Brittany's friend Matt invited her, a boy named Nik, Brent, and myself to the horse races. They were neat I suppose but I was just in too bad of a mood to care. Same with dinner. Same with bowling later that night. I ended up standing outside in the freezing cold without a coat until they came and found me. Took them a long while. I must have been out there for a good 30 minutes and I couldn't feel anything anymore, nor did I care.
Beats me why I do it. Actually, not so much at all in the past years. That was like my high school behavior so I wonder why it's surfacing again?
We all have our setbacks and that was mine. I'm not like that anymore, I'm pretty confident and convinced I can fix whatever the hell I don't like.
All came out ok though, and even though that was the greatest scare I've had in a long while, I'm glad it happened. I learn from mistakes and that was a lesson if I ever had one. I'm feeling better now, I can eat a little but not a lot and my breathing still seems just a tiny bit difficult. Heartbreak sucks...or rather, the bit prior to it. I'd like to think I got a small taste but it didn't last long. I believe everything is fixed.
Anyway, the days before were great. On Thursday, Beth, Cassidy, Ashley, Brittany and some of their friends came and had dinner in Grand Island. It was almost a complete DF reunion but not quite. We had dinner at The Chicken Coop and then went bowling and played some DDR. I'm horrible at both in case anyone wondered. The next day wasn't quite as fun but that was all a fault of my own. Brittany's friend Matt invited her, a boy named Nik, Brent, and myself to the horse races. They were neat I suppose but I was just in too bad of a mood to care. Same with dinner. Same with bowling later that night. I ended up standing outside in the freezing cold without a coat until they came and found me. Took them a long while. I must have been out there for a good 30 minutes and I couldn't feel anything anymore, nor did I care.
Beats me why I do it. Actually, not so much at all in the past years. That was like my high school behavior so I wonder why it's surfacing again?
We all have our setbacks and that was mine. I'm not like that anymore, I'm pretty confident and convinced I can fix whatever the hell I don't like.