Regardless of warnings, the future doesn't scare me at all.
In the past week or so, I've begun several entries. Real ones, with actual feelings and descriptions.
And, stupidly, I thought, "no one would want to read this, it's too long," and deleted it.
Because that is the whole point of a livejournal, anyways, yeah? Whoring yourself out to those who you don't even know or real flesh and blood friends who essentially are there for the ride, anyways.
The timing of this is somewhat comical because as I was getting ready to begin this entry, I had a conversation with Ryan about this exact issue.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who's noticed.
So here they are: my thoughts.
Read if you'd like. If you don't, whatever.
The past couple nights I've had a bit of trouble falling asleep. College is flooding my mind with both hope and nerves.
My plan thus far is: If I get into UNH, wonderful. I'll probably pee my pants. If I don't, I'm going to Keene for a year then transferring.
Though I'd rather not think about the latter.
I really don't feel like going somewhere I don't love.
As for the requirements for UNH, I barely squeak by. Hopefully, they'll see potential anyways. Or at least a girl with amazing ass-kissing skills.
I hate that I've become one of those "I don't know what I'll do if I don't get in" kinds of people.
Even more so, I hate that it took until now for me to realize how much of an idiot I've been throughout high school.
By next weekend, my applications will be sent off, my Bio essay will be long gone to Dr. Lennox, and things will start to ease up a bit.
Then I'll get to play the waiting game.
I really like how there are periods of time where Elise and I get pretty close.
She's one of the few people I can really click with.
She's pretty good with telling me when I'm being completely irrational, which is nice.
And she knows how to tell me things I might not want to hear without sounding like a complete ass.
Senior year lost it's appeal after week two.
I just want out.
And, stupidly, I thought, "no one would want to read this, it's too long," and deleted it.
Because that is the whole point of a livejournal, anyways, yeah? Whoring yourself out to those who you don't even know or real flesh and blood friends who essentially are there for the ride, anyways.
The timing of this is somewhat comical because as I was getting ready to begin this entry, I had a conversation with Ryan about this exact issue.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who's noticed.
So here they are: my thoughts.
Read if you'd like. If you don't, whatever.
The past couple nights I've had a bit of trouble falling asleep. College is flooding my mind with both hope and nerves.
My plan thus far is: If I get into UNH, wonderful. I'll probably pee my pants. If I don't, I'm going to Keene for a year then transferring.
Though I'd rather not think about the latter.
I really don't feel like going somewhere I don't love.
As for the requirements for UNH, I barely squeak by. Hopefully, they'll see potential anyways. Or at least a girl with amazing ass-kissing skills.
I hate that I've become one of those "I don't know what I'll do if I don't get in" kinds of people.
Even more so, I hate that it took until now for me to realize how much of an idiot I've been throughout high school.
By next weekend, my applications will be sent off, my Bio essay will be long gone to Dr. Lennox, and things will start to ease up a bit.
Then I'll get to play the waiting game.
I really like how there are periods of time where Elise and I get pretty close.
She's one of the few people I can really click with.
She's pretty good with telling me when I'm being completely irrational, which is nice.
And she knows how to tell me things I might not want to hear without sounding like a complete ass.
Senior year lost it's appeal after week two.
I just want out.