(no subject)
this autumn was supposed to be a good one.
everything i worked so hard to get is slowly falling at my hand, it's like trying to grasp onto sand. first off, the relatonship i loved is gone and i lie awake at night wanting to dail her number almost every night. the trick up my sleve is not ready to make things official, but i'm not even sure if i am. but this goes way beyond girls. this is not the project i wanted it to be and it's just getting started. we're slowly getting heavier and turning into exactly what i tried so hard to get away from. but it'll take more than that to get rid of me. one friend was always far from me, but now, he's getting further. it may only be because of the season, but i just wish he'd realize how much i miss our adventures. my twin has alot on his plate and just doesn't have time to do the things we used to. he's different and he's changed. i remember singing the cure all night and worshiping tom delonge, but those nights, from nearly one year ago, are gone. if i've ever grown so much with someone, it would be him. he's on the brink of a nervous breakdown and there's, really, nothing i can do about it. mostly because he never talks and opens up about anything, a distance relationship is eating him alive, and he's going through everything i'm going through. and last but not least, my brother. the one friend that i've known the longest out of the people that i hang out with is focusing on bigger things. and by all means, i want him to. but he's considering saying goodbye to the one thing that keeps all four of us alive. this project seen blood, sweat, and tears. for real. i have seen this kid happy and depressed. i have seen this kid cry and smile. if there's anyone, i want him to be friend i never loose contact with. i want him to the one i smoke with on the front porch talking about the nights we're going through right now, while we're in college and just getting started to live. i want him to be my best man when i get married and i want him to the godfather of my children. i love him to death and i'm just scared that i didn't say that enough. i hate to think like this, but i can't help but to feel like he's saying goodbye to us.
this autumn was supposed to be a good one.
everything i worked so hard to get is slowly falling at my hand, it's like trying to grasp onto sand. first off, the relatonship i loved is gone and i lie awake at night wanting to dail her number almost every night. the trick up my sleve is not ready to make things official, but i'm not even sure if i am. but this goes way beyond girls. this is not the project i wanted it to be and it's just getting started. we're slowly getting heavier and turning into exactly what i tried so hard to get away from. but it'll take more than that to get rid of me. one friend was always far from me, but now, he's getting further. it may only be because of the season, but i just wish he'd realize how much i miss our adventures. my twin has alot on his plate and just doesn't have time to do the things we used to. he's different and he's changed. i remember singing the cure all night and worshiping tom delonge, but those nights, from nearly one year ago, are gone. if i've ever grown so much with someone, it would be him. he's on the brink of a nervous breakdown and there's, really, nothing i can do about it. mostly because he never talks and opens up about anything, a distance relationship is eating him alive, and he's going through everything i'm going through. and last but not least, my brother. the one friend that i've known the longest out of the people that i hang out with is focusing on bigger things. and by all means, i want him to. but he's considering saying goodbye to the one thing that keeps all four of us alive. this project seen blood, sweat, and tears. for real. i have seen this kid happy and depressed. i have seen this kid cry and smile. if there's anyone, i want him to be friend i never loose contact with. i want him to the one i smoke with on the front porch talking about the nights we're going through right now, while we're in college and just getting started to live. i want him to be my best man when i get married and i want him to the godfather of my children. i love him to death and i'm just scared that i didn't say that enough. i hate to think like this, but i can't help but to feel like he's saying goodbye to us.
this autumn was supposed to be a good one.