What you need right now is someone to be there for you and give you a big hug and say 'it's okay' and 'I know how you feel'. Unfortunately I'm not of any of those things that I just described, but I am a friend, and a sister. I think that gives me a little importance, right there.
Like I've kind of implied, I'm just not an emotional person. (Or maybe I am and I just supress it/don't...express it. Art. Art is an outlet mi amiga....) Thus, I will do all I can in the following comment to make you feel better and help you see this in a different way without adding to your....upset state of which you are in as of now. Picking the right tone for such a post is hard, but I'm going to TRY to be serious, and if I cheer you up along the way PEEK-A-BOO!, so be it! (My icon doesn't really help things, I'm sure.)
Hun, you've been disapointed a lot more than most people. Hell, probably a lot more than I have. I think it's a fair statement to say that we've BOTH been disapointed about the same amount of times, but the thing is.... I don't take it personally. If someone tells me they're not 'up' to doing something that they promised me, then, hey. I'm not going to let them see me cry or even have the motivation to yell at them. (Unless....it's a major deal.) Hey, it's another reason for them to go to Hell, right? (Ahehehe....) But then there are people like YOU in the world. (The people like me are the ones that often get questioned if they have a SOUL....) I'm not saying you aren't a strong person, you're just not all that tough. Don't take it personally, you're a wonderful, beautiful, sensitive human being. It's touching that you believe half the shit people promise you. I'm not saying you're gullible or a simpleton....it's just that you try to see the GOOD in everyone. I don't. I think my first IMPULSE whenever I see someone is to see the negative and HOW they're going to screw me over in the future, because I know it's inevitable. I know your upset right now, but don't change yourself because of it. This may seem to be straying off subject a little, but it all adds up. Don't be like me (there's enough cynical smart asses in the world already, trust me), be you. To be honest, I don't know how you can be so....nice to Mom and Dad all of the time. If they call us down from upstairs for the clicker, all I've ever heard you say is, "Yes?" They call me, it's "WHAT?!?!?" I look out for me. You look out for....everyone. Though it's admirable, and despite the fact that I just went into that entire SHPEAL about 'DON'T CHANGE YOURSELF!', sometimes you gotta look out for number one. Does that make sense? This is a very unmethodical comment but I just have a lot to say.
I know I'm going to sound crazy for saying this (I don't think I've told anybody this and quite honestly, for me to post it in 'public' like this is kind of strange, but it's for you, God knows I'd do just about anything fer' ye', Lady Mar) but I honestly think everything happens for a reason. Every little decision you make is part of a master plan. Call me Merril, I don't care. This stated, yes, I think you (and everyone else) is being 'tested'. It DOES suck you can't drive. It DOES suck there's not a fucking sidewalk to parade down. It DOES suck that Bill and Mom won't give us two freedoms to shake a stick at, but....that's life. You can look at it one of two ways. One, be pissed, resent it all, say fuck everything, and be done with it. OR, you can look at the brighter side. YES, I just went into an entire SHPEAL about me being the cynical bastardly one, but I'm trying to help here, (SO PAY ATTENTION!) So we're locked in. Hurray, right? Mar, you've got TWO more years of high school left. That's eighteen months of squandering in those stupid classrooms, watching Grease-Dog walk down the halls, and listen to Kujo bitch and moan about our favorite tap dancing fat ass. With that said, think about what you've already done. SINCE you weren't allowed your little....liberties (that, by all means, you are ENTITLED to) you did a lot of great things. You passed a lot of your classes with honors. You wrote a lot of stories. You've expanded your creativity to GREAT lengths. I always thought that people either had fun when they were little or when they were older. We'd be the latter, my friend. The people that piss around and half fun in highschool by inviting their friends over and partying all night do shit in life later on. The nerds (....you're not a nerd XD) who do well had a shitty time in school, but look at 'em now! Even the people that have 'fun' in school and marry well end up questioning their integrity and such later on. (For the most part.) Come on, if we were allowed to do what MOST kids do, we'd NEVER study. XD We'd be watching 'Kenya Lions' and 'IIIII LOVEE YOUUUUU HARRRY!!" nonstop until we pissed our pants and screamed, "SHIT! THE BIO TEST!" It'd be hillarious, but since we've beared down now....the possibilities are endless in the future, right? You said that girls like you have to go to colleges close to home to appease their parents. That's not the case. You're a smart, creative, talented girl, Mar. Our parents are great people, but they've held you back too much already. I think they'd understand if you wanted to go somewhere you, GOD FORBID, WANTED to. Eh? :) They want the best for you now, they know where you WANT to go will be perfect. I don't want to drag myself into this like some big fucking pity party hosted by Sam, but if it makes you feel less....lonely, I can honestly say I don't take my 'RELATIONSHIP PRIVELAGES' for granted. I've gone out with the same guy since like, November and not until NOW has he actually gone to hug ME or kiss ME on the face or something. It's....not so much sad as it is FUNNY. I mean, I wouldn't want to date me either MAYBE I'D GET MORE DATES IF I WASN'T SO DAMN CREEPY! Ehhh, I dunno. I just feel like I'm still a little Sam who can go without holding hands with a guy or go days without bathing.
I hope I....helped you out there. If not, then I hope I made you laugh. If not, then I'm fucked. Fucked I say! Remember when we were little....er and we would like, post pictures of people we used to identify the other person with if they were upset?
That was SO immature of us to do that.
Don't worry, Marbo, things will work out for us in the Summer. Mom will think of a way! ("Always look on the positive side....TULLLIOOOO!")
And as....unlikely as it seems NOW, things will work out for you later on, too. :) Just be patient, preciousssss. Even if you love Uncle Vernon, you'll get your life you want....if you really want it.
Like I've kind of implied, I'm just not an emotional person. (Or maybe I am and I just supress it/don't...express it. Art. Art is an outlet mi amiga....) Thus, I will do all I can in the following comment to make you feel better and help you see this in a different way without adding to your....upset state of which you are in as of now. Picking the right tone for such a post is hard, but I'm going to TRY to be serious, and if I cheer you up along the way PEEK-A-BOO!, so be it! (My icon doesn't really help things, I'm sure.)
Hun, you've been disapointed a lot more than most people. Hell, probably a lot more than I have. I think it's a fair statement to say that we've BOTH been disapointed about the same amount of times, but the thing is.... I don't take it personally. If someone tells me they're not 'up' to doing something that they promised me, then, hey. I'm not going to let them see me cry or even have the motivation to yell at them. (Unless....it's a major deal.) Hey, it's another reason for them to go to Hell, right? (Ahehehe....) But then there are people like YOU in the world. (The people like me are the ones that often get questioned if they have a SOUL....) I'm not saying you aren't a strong person, you're just not all that tough. Don't take it personally, you're a wonderful, beautiful, sensitive human being. It's touching that you believe half the shit people promise you. I'm not saying you're gullible or a simpleton....it's just that you try to see the GOOD in everyone. I don't. I think my first IMPULSE whenever I see someone is to see the negative and HOW they're going to screw me over in the future, because I know it's inevitable. I know your upset right now, but don't change yourself because of it. This may seem to be straying off subject a little, but it all adds up. Don't be like me (there's enough cynical smart asses in the world already, trust me), be you. To be honest, I don't know how you can be so....nice to Mom and Dad all of the time. If they call us down from upstairs for the clicker, all I've ever heard you say is, "Yes?" They call me, it's "WHAT?!?!?" I look out for me. You look out for....everyone. Though it's admirable, and despite the fact that I just went into that entire SHPEAL about 'DON'T CHANGE YOURSELF!', sometimes you gotta look out for number one. Does that make sense? This is a very unmethodical comment but I just have a lot to say.
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I don't want to drag myself into this like some big fucking pity party hosted by Sam, but if it makes you feel less....lonely, I can honestly say I don't take my 'RELATIONSHIP PRIVELAGES' for granted. I've gone out with the same guy since like, November and not until NOW has he actually gone to hug ME or kiss ME on the face or something. It's....not so much sad as it is FUNNY. I mean, I wouldn't want to date me either MAYBE I'D GET MORE DATES IF I WASN'T SO DAMN CREEPY! Ehhh, I dunno. I just feel like I'm still a little Sam who can go without holding hands with a guy or go days without bathing.
I hope I....helped you out there. If not, then I hope I made you laugh. If not, then I'm fucked. Fucked I say! Remember when we were little....er and we would like, post pictures of people we used to identify the other person with if they were upset?
That was SO immature of us to do that.
Don't worry, Marbo, things will work out for us in the Summer. Mom will think of a way! ("Always look on the positive side....TULLLIOOOO!")
And as....unlikely as it seems NOW, things will work out for you later on, too. :) Just be patient, preciousssss. Even if you love Uncle Vernon, you'll get your life you want....if you really want it.
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...At least Austin didn't puke before you kissed him. xD
But you're right. And you did cheer me up. Thanks. :)
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