(no subject)
i can't believe that i have to go back to school tomorrow... i'm totally not ready. i basically want to just stay at home and hang out with my best friends and mom and family for the rest of my life and never have to deal with any of that ever again. it's so wonderful not being stressed out and feeling totally comfortable around everyone here and being healthy!
this break has help me put a lot of things into perspective and i definitely needed this break like crazy. leaving the world of u of i that i wasn't ready to go to and coming back to the world that i thought i wasn't ready to leave helped me take a step back and take a look at me. it made me realize that i wasn't as happy at home as i pretended to be...i hid behind being crazy and obnoxious because i was too insecure to just be me. leaving here made me realize how insecure i really was and i feel like i'm starting to deal with my insecurities instead of just ignoring them. i don't love college yet but i know that i will get there. i wish i could find some sort of escape from the real world at school but sometimes a reality check is needed...because what's so wrong with the world as it really is? what's so wrong with me as i really am?
now, i'm sure there's a lot of answers to both of those questions [haha] but i feel like i'm ready to conquer both of them and learn to be OKAY with both answers.
this year is my year to become...to become a successful student at u of i and to become happy with patrick.
Shoo, I am so ready!
this break has help me put a lot of things into perspective and i definitely needed this break like crazy. leaving the world of u of i that i wasn't ready to go to and coming back to the world that i thought i wasn't ready to leave helped me take a step back and take a look at me. it made me realize that i wasn't as happy at home as i pretended to be...i hid behind being crazy and obnoxious because i was too insecure to just be me. leaving here made me realize how insecure i really was and i feel like i'm starting to deal with my insecurities instead of just ignoring them. i don't love college yet but i know that i will get there. i wish i could find some sort of escape from the real world at school but sometimes a reality check is needed...because what's so wrong with the world as it really is? what's so wrong with me as i really am?
now, i'm sure there's a lot of answers to both of those questions [haha] but i feel like i'm ready to conquer both of them and learn to be OKAY with both answers.
this year is my year to become...to become a successful student at u of i and to become happy with patrick.
Shoo, I am so ready!