straight edge.
why should i feel the need to write this and defend my decision? i shouldn't, but whatever. i'll get it out in the open before someone else can open their mouth and do it for me. i constantly have been told, "girls aren't straight edge". i constantly have had people doubt me. i constantly have had people asking me when i was going to sell out. i'm fucking sick of it. i'm sick of the label. i don't want to be confined by it anymore. i didn't drink for three years, and i decided, "hey, why not just claim edge? i might as well." big mistake. i'm done with it. i don't want to be involved with hardcore in any way, shape, or form anymore. why? oh, i don't know. maybe because of the massive amount of hypocrisy i see. how straight edge is cheating on your girlfriend by fucking your disgusting slut of an ex? it's not, actually. at all. how straight edge is sleeping with anything with two legs? it's not. i'm done being involved with the male dominated clique that makes up hardcore. so big deal, i want to have a glass of wine with my dinner. did i say, "hey guys, i'm going to sell out & get sloppy drunk every single night"? no, i didn't. but, of course, i say i'm breaking edge and that's what people assume. not every sell out goes off the deepend. i haven't been in this shit for life and i'm not holding fast. i don't fucking care anymore. if i am going to lose friends because i'm breaking edge, then fuck you - you aren't the person i thought you were. friendship is not a label, it's not whether or not someone drinks. if you think that drinking a glass of wine means i have no convictions or self discipline - you obviously don't know me at all. i do have self discipline. i don't need to get drunk or high or coked out. i wasn't one of those kids who needed straight edge to keep myself alive, sorry. i made a mistake by confining to something i saw all around me. i regret it. and now, i'm distancing myself from it, just like i'm distancing myself from many other things in my life. if you don't like it - sorry. if you don't want to be my friend anymore - that's your loss. friendship is deeper than personal decisions. this has been a long time coming, a decision that i have been thinking out for a good solid month. if you can't handle that i may just be drinking the smallest amount of alcohol now, sorry.
and while i'm at it, apparently "tired of being treated like shit" is the same thing as "wanted to focus all his efforts on his band and friends" in terms of reasons for a breakup. i may not know many things for sure, but i know i was a good girlfriend. i put up with a lot of things, i supported you with every decision you chose to make, and i tried to make things work through the hard times. i never treated anyone like shit. ever. i was cheated on, i was lied to, i was made to feel like i was crazy for having trust issues, i was told to shut the fuck up and hung up on - and i treated you like shit? fuck. off.
and while i'm at it, apparently "tired of being treated like shit" is the same thing as "wanted to focus all his efforts on his band and friends" in terms of reasons for a breakup. i may not know many things for sure, but i know i was a good girlfriend. i put up with a lot of things, i supported you with every decision you chose to make, and i tried to make things work through the hard times. i never treated anyone like shit. ever. i was cheated on, i was lied to, i was made to feel like i was crazy for having trust issues, i was told to shut the fuck up and hung up on - and i treated you like shit? fuck. off.