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What's the difference between a dead baby and a 5 course meal?
I didn't eat a 5 course meal for dinner last night.
What's small, spins in circles, and taps on the window?
A dead baby in the microwave.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of ping pong balls?
You can't shovel ping pong balls with a pitch fork.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off it's head.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline you take your boots off.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender.
How do you get them out?
With tortilla chips.
What's the difference between a dead baby andmy girlfriend?
I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
What's worse than finding a dead baby on you pillow in the morning?
Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Cadillac?
I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.
What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in 1 trash can?
Finding 1 dead baby in 7 trashcans.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a styrofoam cup?
A styrofoam cup harms the atmosphere when you burn it.
What is blue and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with slashed floaties.
What is green-black and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool?
The same baby three weeks later.
What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool?
Floaties with a slashed baby.
What's blue and knocks on glass?
A baby in the fishtank.
What's the difference between a baby and a bagel?
You can put a bagel in the toaster. But you have to put a baby in the oven.
A woman was lying in her hospital bed recuperating after an intense 12 hour delivery of a bouncing baby boy.
Moments later the hospital room door opened, and in walked the delivery nurse carrying the baby boy...
SUDDENLY the nurse THROWS the baby on the floor, kicks it upagainst the wall, picks it up and TWIRLS it around several times and THROWS it against the wall....
Well, just bewildered, the woman gives out a loud SHREEEK and hollers MY GOD...WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BABY?!?!?!
The Nurse chuckles a little to herself 'April Fools', she says...
He was already dead!