lost
I'm not a melancholy person at large but sometimes life just gets to you. I used to know what it was I believed in - what was right, what was wrong. There was no in-between. There was no second chance, no try-again. Cheating? Wrong. Lying? Wrong. Stealing? Wrong. Settling? Wrong. And then as you get older you try to see the best in people. They really did have the best intentions - but they went the wrong way about it. They meant well. They're innately good, just compartmentalise. They just need a little help. You need a little help. You make mistakes too. Maybe you deserve this. Maybe this is your lot in life. Maybe it will all work out. Maybe this is all wrong and you're being a complete moron, wasting your time and energy on things and people who are not worth it.
Internal monologues can go on and on. I think I spend half my life questioning my own decisions and suddenly my thoughts aren't crystal clear, more silvers of shadows that evade me as I try to grasp them. What was I thinking? What am I doing? These questions have never lost their stamina. Do any of us know what to do anymore? I feel like I'm being dragged along by the currents of the ocean, with no land in sight, no boat, no compass and no map.
Internal monologues can go on and on. I think I spend half my life questioning my own decisions and suddenly my thoughts aren't crystal clear, more silvers of shadows that evade me as I try to grasp them. What was I thinking? What am I doing? These questions have never lost their stamina. Do any of us know what to do anymore? I feel like I'm being dragged along by the currents of the ocean, with no land in sight, no boat, no compass and no map.