it scared me a LOT
i had this dream last night and now i want to cry. i mean like full out face-in-pillow-bawl-my-eyes-out-scream-until-i-have-no-voice-left-cry. it was the most upsetting thing. i have no idea where it came from either as i have not had time to watch news or read a newspaper ~ ok maybe the newspaper, but i have books that come first :) ~ so i kinda don't know what to do with it now:
the dream started with me in this room with a bunch of other people, ones i didn't know. i think that maybe it was a group for new parents or parents and their middle children, something weird like that, but i don't think that i had any kids, i'm not even sure if i was there or just watching. some other adults didn't have kids either but there were plenty of little ones around. we were all sitting in a circle on the floor and most of the kids were little girls like 5 or 6. i was looking around at all the people and just listening to their small talk when i noticed this guy. he was an older man - not like grandpa old, like my dad old ~~ wow i guess that he is a grandpa ~~ but maybe late 40s - and i thought that he looked really familiar. then i had a flashback thing of when i (the dream me, i think) was little, 6 maybe, and he was near me. i don't remember much of these flashbacks they started out really blurry, i kinda only remembered bad feelings toward this man like he had done bad things to me. i kept thinking like a 6 year old, in general feelings and not details. this dream was interrupted by other more pleasant dreams about lunch with the girls at the beach or about aaron, or maybe they interrupted this one, i just remember that i came back to this circle 3 times and each time the flashbacks became clearer and i remembered more about this man and me crying and feeling so scared. he was really nice with the other people and the kids so that when i tried to tell some of the moms about him they pushed me aside. each time i came back i tried harder and harder to tell them, but i had no proof and no one would believe me, then no one could hear me or even see me, i became invisible. just before i woke up he looked across the circle at me and he smiled at me. it was a horrible toothy grin, like he was telling me that what i thought i remembered was true and that he was at it again and there was nothing i could do about it.
i woke up at 8:22 to mum asking when i was getting up. my alarm was turned off and she had said that it had gone off several times before i turned it off. i was so startled that i jumped out of bed too fast and fall back down dizzy. the first story i saw on the news was of the man who kidnapped those two kids, i was kinda freaking. i was running late all morning and i am leaving the door open at work today because men keep coming in alone. i am so scared deep down. my hands are shaking. *shiver* horrible, HORRIBLE dream. please be just a dream.
on a happier note. yesterday was wonderful. aaron and i had breakfast with his parents, his mum is right we're always eating together, not that i mind - just no more bacon :) when we got home his grandmother was up and she and i looked through aaron's scrapbook *cute little boy* well i looked while she finished her crossword. then we went to get cherries to take to his other grandmother for her mom. his grandma was so nice - also gives good hugs - and grandpa larry? there were lots of people and i can't remember any names :| oops. then we stopped and saw em, nice tan line *hehehe* after that quick stop we went to the art fair because it was too late to see the horton bay parade like we planned. i really like how laid back aaron is mostly. i got a really cute new bag and a cute gift for mum. we decided to go home for a nap because i had to work at 6, but we stopped for scones first. i met joyce - she made the scones *mmm* - and she was so cute: "you are a very lucky girl. aaron is such a sweetheart. you don't know how lucky you are." i kinda think that what she wanted to say was: "are you a good girl? will you treat my aaron right?" he is so loved by so many people, i feel very blessed to be a part of his life. so after the nap we went back to petoskey. he was in the parade - which i SO wanted to see - and i was off to work. i got out at ten which meant that after a half hour of parking (maybe less, but still frustrating) i got to see TALIA & LAURA. that had to be the highlight of the day. em had to stay and work, but at least most of us made it to our spot. it was so good to see them, well it was dark so i kind only saw them as shadows - - but they were lovely shadows! i miss you gals, can't wait for lunch!
list your current six favorite songs and choose six friends to do the same.
1. Collide - howie day
2. Home - michael bublé
3. Mr. Brightside - the killers
4. 100 Years - five for fighting
5. Breakaway - kelly clarkson
6. Beyond the Sea - robbie williams (anyone have a copy?)
i tag . . . .
emmi_i , jess_08 , jimmycrackscorn , lyterae , octopusouphut , (pick someone extra for me)
so um yeah . . . today is weird and i kinda don't wanna be anywhere right now - although some food would be fantastic, maybe i'll run down to galley and get something. if you think of me today, please pray a little extra. i still don't feel well and now i'm really confused. dadi will know what to do, i just need to listen a little better. hugs would be nice too . . . see you soon.