Big girls don't cry...
I need to just type some shit on here cause i feel dead miserable right now and this helps me put everything into perspective..
Tonight i stayed in and i wish i hadnt cause when i stay in, it gives me a chance to think about things and then when i think about things too much i get stressed out and then i get upset and then i feel like a dick for being such a whiny little bitch over nothing.
But yeah here is how pathetic i am....
I had to go to the pines to get my dad a birthday present. I knew exactly what he wanted. BUT i went to the shop and they'd moved everything aound and i couldnt find it. So instead of just looking elsewhere, i start getting stressed like 'how dare they fucking move the shop round!'
Haha i mean thats abnormal behaviour and i do seriously get myself pissed off.
Then i started thinking about this thing in work and all the proof of what we've learnt and its like i have nothing except an email off Luke and Glenn. Thats rubbish like. So then i was like omg what am i going to say? I'm going to be rubbish and then they'll be like 'she's crap, dont keep her.' So i started to make like notes and then i thought i dont even know what notes i'm supposed to make so i had another hissy fit and got all fucked off.
And then my sister came down and like ate my pot noodle and stole my computer and i got pissed off again. And then i was like its a chicken satay pot noodle, why am i pissed off? And that got me more pissed off for being pissed off at nothing in the first place.
And then i remembered i was going to a gay ass team and that made me sad and theni felt really ill and i still do abit. My head is killing, i feel super weak and my neck and shoulders are absloutley wrecking. And i'm freezing and then boiling in a matter of seconds.
ANNND i think i should wait till after probation about my car. Which SUCKS but its the most sensible thing to do and im absloutley sick of looking at cars tbh.
And then i cried loads and now i feel abit better. But after writing this i realize how STUPID it is and how everythings practically solved.
I've got my dads birthday present AND a card AND wrapping paper AND a gift tag. So thats sorted.
I KNOW what i've learnt from work and what sorta shit i need to say to impress them so who gives a fuck.
I have the computer now. And i can buy another chicken satay pot noodle =]
And i'll just have to try the team and who knows, i might love it. If not i can ask to be moved. If they wont, i can find a new job. Simple.
ANNND its only another 6 weeks till probation, i've had the green goblin for like 3 years, i can wait another 6 weeks and occassionally look in the meantime =]
SOOOO everythings cool. I've stopped whining and now i am going to bed cause i really deserve some sleep =]
Oh and i went through all this without smoking a spliff =O Impressive or whaaaaaaaaaaat! I stayed QUITE calm haha and i'm fine now so whooop whooop as me and Jane say ;)
Love yooou butch x
Tonight i stayed in and i wish i hadnt cause when i stay in, it gives me a chance to think about things and then when i think about things too much i get stressed out and then i get upset and then i feel like a dick for being such a whiny little bitch over nothing.
But yeah here is how pathetic i am....
I had to go to the pines to get my dad a birthday present. I knew exactly what he wanted. BUT i went to the shop and they'd moved everything aound and i couldnt find it. So instead of just looking elsewhere, i start getting stressed like 'how dare they fucking move the shop round!'
Haha i mean thats abnormal behaviour and i do seriously get myself pissed off.
Then i started thinking about this thing in work and all the proof of what we've learnt and its like i have nothing except an email off Luke and Glenn. Thats rubbish like. So then i was like omg what am i going to say? I'm going to be rubbish and then they'll be like 'she's crap, dont keep her.' So i started to make like notes and then i thought i dont even know what notes i'm supposed to make so i had another hissy fit and got all fucked off.
And then my sister came down and like ate my pot noodle and stole my computer and i got pissed off again. And then i was like its a chicken satay pot noodle, why am i pissed off? And that got me more pissed off for being pissed off at nothing in the first place.
And then i remembered i was going to a gay ass team and that made me sad and theni felt really ill and i still do abit. My head is killing, i feel super weak and my neck and shoulders are absloutley wrecking. And i'm freezing and then boiling in a matter of seconds.
ANNND i think i should wait till after probation about my car. Which SUCKS but its the most sensible thing to do and im absloutley sick of looking at cars tbh.
And then i cried loads and now i feel abit better. But after writing this i realize how STUPID it is and how everythings practically solved.
I've got my dads birthday present AND a card AND wrapping paper AND a gift tag. So thats sorted.
I KNOW what i've learnt from work and what sorta shit i need to say to impress them so who gives a fuck.
I have the computer now. And i can buy another chicken satay pot noodle =]
And i'll just have to try the team and who knows, i might love it. If not i can ask to be moved. If they wont, i can find a new job. Simple.
ANNND its only another 6 weeks till probation, i've had the green goblin for like 3 years, i can wait another 6 weeks and occassionally look in the meantime =]
SOOOO everythings cool. I've stopped whining and now i am going to bed cause i really deserve some sleep =]
Oh and i went through all this without smoking a spliff =O Impressive or whaaaaaaaaaaat! I stayed QUITE calm haha and i'm fine now so whooop whooop as me and Jane say ;)
Love yooou butch x