Twenty-Nine
So "Operation: School Project" backfired on me. I went into CVS and easily found the condoms, unfortunately, I wrongfully assumed the lubricants would be nearby. They were in the female hygiene products at the opposite end of the store. But to get to this point, it would be quite the journey.
I had no idea that KY Ultra Gel was a "Female Product", so I didn't know it would be there. I assumed condoms and lube are like french fries and ketchup, or some other two things that are just always paired together. I made the foolish mistake of asking the youngest person working at CVS where the lube was; she wasn't young, she was just foreign. She thought I meant lubricated condoms and brought me back to the condoms section. I explained to her, "no, I meant like KY, or something, you know". There is a line back in the pharmacy at this point, and she loudly asks the pharmacist, "WHERE IS THE LUBE? THIS BOY NEEDS TO FIND THE LUBRICANTS."
At this point I am on the phone with my friend Ariel and am completely, utterly embarassed and running for my life inside the CVS. I hide, but eventually someone who was in the line comes up to me and says, "Hey honey, I'm a nurse, I'll help you find the lube." And she isn't able to, but she tells me to go to some sex shop on Harvard Avenue called "GRAND OPENING" and that her and her fiance go there all the time and it's wonderful for all my needs and wants.
Eventually the foreign lady comes back with a puzzled look on her face and brings me to aisle 3A, feminine hygiene. I'm not sure if she's puzzled because I'm 1) not a woman or 2) because she assumed the condoms would be with the lube as well. Moral of the story is that I'm never going to CVS to buy shit like that ever ever ever again.
Last night consisted of making a lovely party bowl mix that now sits on my night stand: sleeping aids and caffiene pills. They're a pretty yellow and pale blue. I had coupons and an urge to do something incredibly Valley of the Dolls-ish.
I am convinced that I have the male version of PMS, the psychological disorder. My father has it, and if I have it too, which I am almost 100% positive of, then Morgan and I are on the same cycle as she told me last night.
Last week I was really bitchy and moody, and this week I'm incredibly nice and have the urge to cook food for everyone. I think last night was the first night I impressed my roommates with my imaginative culinary ability. I want to drop out of college and go to culinary school, normal education bores the crap out of me. Too bad I can't make a decent living cooking.
This morning I made pumpkin and cinnamon spiced pancakes and left some in the microwave for Maggie's friend Paul. I wish I brought them to school with me though, they were that good.
I currently feel like a total hypocrite right now (re: Rowan) because a boy called me 5 times yesterday, and I didn't pick up once. I may or may not have drunkenly done stuff with him on Saturday, but I really have no interest in him. I was really drunk, and Lindsey and I made a pact that we'd both get laid that night. I'm really not that kind of person... I don't know what brought me to do it.
Well, gotta go, my 9:30 train to Hell just arrived.
I had no idea that KY Ultra Gel was a "Female Product", so I didn't know it would be there. I assumed condoms and lube are like french fries and ketchup, or some other two things that are just always paired together. I made the foolish mistake of asking the youngest person working at CVS where the lube was; she wasn't young, she was just foreign. She thought I meant lubricated condoms and brought me back to the condoms section. I explained to her, "no, I meant like KY, or something, you know". There is a line back in the pharmacy at this point, and she loudly asks the pharmacist, "WHERE IS THE LUBE? THIS BOY NEEDS TO FIND THE LUBRICANTS."
At this point I am on the phone with my friend Ariel and am completely, utterly embarassed and running for my life inside the CVS. I hide, but eventually someone who was in the line comes up to me and says, "Hey honey, I'm a nurse, I'll help you find the lube." And she isn't able to, but she tells me to go to some sex shop on Harvard Avenue called "GRAND OPENING" and that her and her fiance go there all the time and it's wonderful for all my needs and wants.
Eventually the foreign lady comes back with a puzzled look on her face and brings me to aisle 3A, feminine hygiene. I'm not sure if she's puzzled because I'm 1) not a woman or 2) because she assumed the condoms would be with the lube as well. Moral of the story is that I'm never going to CVS to buy shit like that ever ever ever again.
Last night consisted of making a lovely party bowl mix that now sits on my night stand: sleeping aids and caffiene pills. They're a pretty yellow and pale blue. I had coupons and an urge to do something incredibly Valley of the Dolls-ish.
I am convinced that I have the male version of PMS, the psychological disorder. My father has it, and if I have it too, which I am almost 100% positive of, then Morgan and I are on the same cycle as she told me last night.
Last week I was really bitchy and moody, and this week I'm incredibly nice and have the urge to cook food for everyone. I think last night was the first night I impressed my roommates with my imaginative culinary ability. I want to drop out of college and go to culinary school, normal education bores the crap out of me. Too bad I can't make a decent living cooking.
This morning I made pumpkin and cinnamon spiced pancakes and left some in the microwave for Maggie's friend Paul. I wish I brought them to school with me though, they were that good.
I currently feel like a total hypocrite right now (re: Rowan) because a boy called me 5 times yesterday, and I didn't pick up once. I may or may not have drunkenly done stuff with him on Saturday, but I really have no interest in him. I was really drunk, and Lindsey and I made a pact that we'd both get laid that night. I'm really not that kind of person... I don't know what brought me to do it.
Well, gotta go, my 9:30 train to Hell just arrived.