what i miss..
I miss being the scared naïve little girl that I once was not knowing right from wrong and being able to get away with anything and everything just by batting my lashes and giving the big blue puppy dog eyes.
The puppy dog eyes still work sometimes but with the right person. I miss having the grade school crushes, I miss the times when boys had cooties, when everything seemed right in the world and the problems could be fixed by a big ice cream sundae, when you fell down and hurt yourself and ran to mommy for her to kiss it and make it all better. I miss not having to worry about bills from car payments to cell phones to parking and that first speeding ticket that crying wouldnt get you out of. I miss the firsts: your first real date, that first kiss that changed everything, your first love and thinking hes the one Ill spend the rest of my life with; not knowing any better, the first time you were with someone: the awkward silence during and after and thinking that was it?
I miss falling in love and believing that all you need is love. I miss having some one look at me and see me for who I really am: someone thats unsure of herself most of the time but acts tough all the time, someone who tries so hard not to show her true emotions, someone who hates to cry because she feels weak when she does. I want to be that kindergartener that looked at the big kids and wished I were them, the little girl that ran to daddy when she needed a hug, instead of running away to drive and think to herself. I dont want to be hurt like I have so many other times by others.
I dont want to be heartbroken, or feel used, or feel as though Im being kept around for one thing. I want to find someone that loves me for me, no matter what I look like, or how dumb I may sound sometimes, someone who will jump my dead car battery in the pouring rain, or come to my rescue when I need them the most. I want someone who will be my best friend that I can talk to for hours about everything and nothing at all. I just wish I could go back in time, to the time that I didnt have to worry about anything. When you didnt have to worry about a new relationship and how itll grow so the other person wont get tired of you too soon, how you should dress, how you should look on a first date with that new boy youve had your eye on in class all semester.
I guess you can only go back to that time in your dreams hopefully Ill dream sweet dreams the next few nights.
[xposted: nicole wrote this, and I thought it fit the situation I'm in..]
The puppy dog eyes still work sometimes but with the right person. I miss having the grade school crushes, I miss the times when boys had cooties, when everything seemed right in the world and the problems could be fixed by a big ice cream sundae, when you fell down and hurt yourself and ran to mommy for her to kiss it and make it all better. I miss not having to worry about bills from car payments to cell phones to parking and that first speeding ticket that crying wouldnt get you out of. I miss the firsts: your first real date, that first kiss that changed everything, your first love and thinking hes the one Ill spend the rest of my life with; not knowing any better, the first time you were with someone: the awkward silence during and after and thinking that was it?
I miss falling in love and believing that all you need is love. I miss having some one look at me and see me for who I really am: someone thats unsure of herself most of the time but acts tough all the time, someone who tries so hard not to show her true emotions, someone who hates to cry because she feels weak when she does. I want to be that kindergartener that looked at the big kids and wished I were them, the little girl that ran to daddy when she needed a hug, instead of running away to drive and think to herself. I dont want to be hurt like I have so many other times by others.
I dont want to be heartbroken, or feel used, or feel as though Im being kept around for one thing. I want to find someone that loves me for me, no matter what I look like, or how dumb I may sound sometimes, someone who will jump my dead car battery in the pouring rain, or come to my rescue when I need them the most. I want someone who will be my best friend that I can talk to for hours about everything and nothing at all. I just wish I could go back in time, to the time that I didnt have to worry about anything. When you didnt have to worry about a new relationship and how itll grow so the other person wont get tired of you too soon, how you should dress, how you should look on a first date with that new boy youve had your eye on in class all semester.
I guess you can only go back to that time in your dreams hopefully Ill dream sweet dreams the next few nights.
[xposted: nicole wrote this, and I thought it fit the situation I'm in..]