Time and Space, when looked at under a microscope, defies common sense
Dear Reader,
Upon looking back over the past few years’ hindsight it seems, has granted me a full view of who I was and who I have become. From child to adult I have changed physically, mentally, and emotionally. I have grown taller and stronger and with a look similar to that of my Father. It is a great and terrifying thing when the people I meet in the really world don’t see me as a verging 19 year old; they see me as someone in there early twenties with a mindset of an old man. This could be in part from my physical appearance but I believe it goes further then that. When questioned as to the age in which they think I am I get responses like "At first I thought you were young; but they more we talked I could tell you were much much older" or "with that attitude and face of yours; your age could be anything". Though these things make me feel great it also makes me feel im growing up too fast. Then again I still know how to play and joke around.
Mentally I find I see the world in a whole different light then I did when a few years back. Nothing holds its splendour like it did. Nothing seems new and exciting. Which in itself seems very boring. But at the same time nothing grants me fear anymore. There is good in this though. It has allowed me to view life in its entirety. I can see the big picture while scruptifying the small details. I can observe and calculate with a detached mindset for accurate answers. I see the past, present, and future in one light. I take all in to account with each decision. Even the past holds its power over the future and in a large way effects it. For thought things may be different in the world of quantum physics; in the world in which we observe and perceive we run on basic principles of cause and effect. So the past (taking in to account the present is but a mere instant and gone before its even recognized) is in direct relation the cause and the future is its effect. People have forgotten this ideal, this way of life when dealing with the world around them. All that you do causes something to happen (even unknowingly). I have brought this principle back into my life full force. I am precise and fully cognitive in all my decisions. I highly calculate each motion and decision knowing with a good idea what the outcome will be. This is how I greatly differ from who I was before. Years ago I lived in a fantasy world believing the world was like a movie and that some great script was being written out in my favour and that all things horrible that happen to me will on there own eventually become good and work themselves out. I also acted impulsively and never could quite grasp the effect or the outcome of everything I did. In other words I (in a quite literal sense) lived in a world of moments and that was all.
Emotions have been my plague and my blessing for so many years. Once completely out of control. I have over time found a way to use them in a less destructive manner. I can now hold my emotions in the palm of my hand and with them find which emotions are rational and which are not. The ones that aren’t I write off (an easier thing said then done in this case). I once let my emotions rule over my heart as well as my mind which ended up being a chaos of irrational behaviour and oversensitivity to anything and everything. I was a bomb always waiting to go off. For that reason I lost many friends, girlfriends, trust, and almost my life. It wasn’t until I finally looked at myself from the outside in that I saw what I was doing. At this point in my life I had found myself alone from all that actions I have performed so there was no one to help me figure out a way to change that state of mind. It was a shear act of will that aloud me to fix myself. And once I got that ball rolling nothing can or ever will stop it. I still make mistakes and im still touchy to a point. Even today. But that’s what it means to be human; to sacrifice logic for the power of our emotions.
I have grown in all ways. Those who knew me then would not recognize the person I am today unless they saw the changes as they occurred. But there is one thing that truly takes all this away. One person that allows me to show my emotions and to let go of the troubles of growing and to just have fun. One person that sees me as a great person even though I sometimes see myself as one that deserves nothing. She puts the wonder back into my world. She is my Angel. And I love her for everything she has done for me and what she is giving up to be with me. And one thing I am truly grateful from her is that she forgives me as often as I forgive her. We allow each other to make mistakes. Even sometimes mistakes that can hurt us and we try to find ways to fix them. We are growing with each other and making each other better every single day. For this I am grateful.
Well this is me. All you have read is true I meant all that I said. I hope you find it interesting or even hopefully helpful in your own life. My life is full of ideals and philosophies that I once found ridiculous. I hope this shows you that people can change and that we have the power and will to change it ourselves if we truly desire to.
The Ideals by which I live by:
"If im not growing, bettering myself, and learning every single day then im dying"
-unknown
"If your stuck on yesterday, today just repeats, and tomorrow never comes."
-Phillip R E fisher Jr.
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, and hope for tomorrow"
-anonymous
Till next time,
Phillip Robert Eugene Fisher Junior
Upon looking back over the past few years’ hindsight it seems, has granted me a full view of who I was and who I have become. From child to adult I have changed physically, mentally, and emotionally. I have grown taller and stronger and with a look similar to that of my Father. It is a great and terrifying thing when the people I meet in the really world don’t see me as a verging 19 year old; they see me as someone in there early twenties with a mindset of an old man. This could be in part from my physical appearance but I believe it goes further then that. When questioned as to the age in which they think I am I get responses like "At first I thought you were young; but they more we talked I could tell you were much much older" or "with that attitude and face of yours; your age could be anything". Though these things make me feel great it also makes me feel im growing up too fast. Then again I still know how to play and joke around.
Mentally I find I see the world in a whole different light then I did when a few years back. Nothing holds its splendour like it did. Nothing seems new and exciting. Which in itself seems very boring. But at the same time nothing grants me fear anymore. There is good in this though. It has allowed me to view life in its entirety. I can see the big picture while scruptifying the small details. I can observe and calculate with a detached mindset for accurate answers. I see the past, present, and future in one light. I take all in to account with each decision. Even the past holds its power over the future and in a large way effects it. For thought things may be different in the world of quantum physics; in the world in which we observe and perceive we run on basic principles of cause and effect. So the past (taking in to account the present is but a mere instant and gone before its even recognized) is in direct relation the cause and the future is its effect. People have forgotten this ideal, this way of life when dealing with the world around them. All that you do causes something to happen (even unknowingly). I have brought this principle back into my life full force. I am precise and fully cognitive in all my decisions. I highly calculate each motion and decision knowing with a good idea what the outcome will be. This is how I greatly differ from who I was before. Years ago I lived in a fantasy world believing the world was like a movie and that some great script was being written out in my favour and that all things horrible that happen to me will on there own eventually become good and work themselves out. I also acted impulsively and never could quite grasp the effect or the outcome of everything I did. In other words I (in a quite literal sense) lived in a world of moments and that was all.
Emotions have been my plague and my blessing for so many years. Once completely out of control. I have over time found a way to use them in a less destructive manner. I can now hold my emotions in the palm of my hand and with them find which emotions are rational and which are not. The ones that aren’t I write off (an easier thing said then done in this case). I once let my emotions rule over my heart as well as my mind which ended up being a chaos of irrational behaviour and oversensitivity to anything and everything. I was a bomb always waiting to go off. For that reason I lost many friends, girlfriends, trust, and almost my life. It wasn’t until I finally looked at myself from the outside in that I saw what I was doing. At this point in my life I had found myself alone from all that actions I have performed so there was no one to help me figure out a way to change that state of mind. It was a shear act of will that aloud me to fix myself. And once I got that ball rolling nothing can or ever will stop it. I still make mistakes and im still touchy to a point. Even today. But that’s what it means to be human; to sacrifice logic for the power of our emotions.
I have grown in all ways. Those who knew me then would not recognize the person I am today unless they saw the changes as they occurred. But there is one thing that truly takes all this away. One person that allows me to show my emotions and to let go of the troubles of growing and to just have fun. One person that sees me as a great person even though I sometimes see myself as one that deserves nothing. She puts the wonder back into my world. She is my Angel. And I love her for everything she has done for me and what she is giving up to be with me. And one thing I am truly grateful from her is that she forgives me as often as I forgive her. We allow each other to make mistakes. Even sometimes mistakes that can hurt us and we try to find ways to fix them. We are growing with each other and making each other better every single day. For this I am grateful.
Well this is me. All you have read is true I meant all that I said. I hope you find it interesting or even hopefully helpful in your own life. My life is full of ideals and philosophies that I once found ridiculous. I hope this shows you that people can change and that we have the power and will to change it ourselves if we truly desire to.
The Ideals by which I live by:
"If im not growing, bettering myself, and learning every single day then im dying"
-unknown
"If your stuck on yesterday, today just repeats, and tomorrow never comes."
-Phillip R E fisher Jr.
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, and hope for tomorrow"
-anonymous
Till next time,
Phillip Robert Eugene Fisher Junior