Anger
Ok, so maybe now I am willing to admit that I am angry, pissed and could use a good punching bag!
Journals..stupid fucking journal...writing sucks...specially when your privacy is not respected.
My 'better half' *snort* what the fuck is that all about 'better half' anyway, consistantly reads my journals and consistantly does not read what I wrote. It's all about him. I havn't written in any journals for too long now, and only today went back to do some review on things written in the past only to realize that I am an angry, angry person. Along with very confus..id.
I want my pages back that he tore out, I know I have stuff to learn from what I wrote, he was obviously threatened, and now, again, I am pissed! I want them back...like a little baby...give them back...waaaaaaa!
I have been seeing a therapist...well twice...and I don't want to go again, I have been avoiding calling her. I cry all the time and life sucks. :pppppppppp
{Only on the days that it sucks. I bought some plants for the garden yesterday. Kayla helped me pick some out and then we had lunch at KFC. :0) }
And do you know why it sucks...because I don't know how to make it better, and because it seems I am supposed to be where I am and assholes are as assholes do.
But..on a lighter note...I also know that I would prefer to hate him and call him an asshole so that I don't have to love him. And again :pppppppppppp
It's becoming harder and harder to love someone that I don't really like. And then I get reminded of the things I once liked about him...what the fuck is that...I don't want to know that...yes you do...no I don't. Sucks to be me!
He was away for the weekend, I decided to clean house and make it all nice for him when he got back. I went to greet him when he arrived, asked how his trip was, the usuall stuff. He came in went straight to his pot plants and complained that I didn't water them right. Well...that's how I took it anyway. He asked when I watered them and said they were too wet. *rolling eyes* I went outside to breath...and when I came back in and sat with him he had the fucking nerve to say "I doesn't seem like you are happy to see me". Fucking asshole!
So what am I going to do...Jack shit and Dick all. That's right...and right after Beltaine to. :ppppppp
You see...I think it's time for me to sit back and watch. I do truly believe in what goes around comes around. I don't totally get karma and the three fold, and don't really care. Well maybe a little, but I've had my share of karma, what's a little more. I'm not leaving, this shithead is either going to snap out of it or run like hell. *eg* And I wanna watch! Is there any harm in that, huh, is there...well too bad if there is. :p
p.s. I will learn how to do the tag, but for now everyone can ignore my ranting if they want because that's what I will be using this journal for since I havn't one at home that will be respected.
I know, I know, don't play child parent with him. :pppp
I don't care....
Journals..stupid fucking journal...writing sucks...specially when your privacy is not respected.
My 'better half' *snort* what the fuck is that all about 'better half' anyway, consistantly reads my journals and consistantly does not read what I wrote. It's all about him. I havn't written in any journals for too long now, and only today went back to do some review on things written in the past only to realize that I am an angry, angry person. Along with very confus..id.
I want my pages back that he tore out, I know I have stuff to learn from what I wrote, he was obviously threatened, and now, again, I am pissed! I want them back...like a little baby...give them back...waaaaaaa!
I have been seeing a therapist...well twice...and I don't want to go again, I have been avoiding calling her. I cry all the time and life sucks. :pppppppppp
{Only on the days that it sucks. I bought some plants for the garden yesterday. Kayla helped me pick some out and then we had lunch at KFC. :0) }
And do you know why it sucks...because I don't know how to make it better, and because it seems I am supposed to be where I am and assholes are as assholes do.
But..on a lighter note...I also know that I would prefer to hate him and call him an asshole so that I don't have to love him. And again :pppppppppppp
It's becoming harder and harder to love someone that I don't really like. And then I get reminded of the things I once liked about him...what the fuck is that...I don't want to know that...yes you do...no I don't. Sucks to be me!
He was away for the weekend, I decided to clean house and make it all nice for him when he got back. I went to greet him when he arrived, asked how his trip was, the usuall stuff. He came in went straight to his pot plants and complained that I didn't water them right. Well...that's how I took it anyway. He asked when I watered them and said they were too wet. *rolling eyes* I went outside to breath...and when I came back in and sat with him he had the fucking nerve to say "I doesn't seem like you are happy to see me". Fucking asshole!
So what am I going to do...Jack shit and Dick all. That's right...and right after Beltaine to. :ppppppp
You see...I think it's time for me to sit back and watch. I do truly believe in what goes around comes around. I don't totally get karma and the three fold, and don't really care. Well maybe a little, but I've had my share of karma, what's a little more. I'm not leaving, this shithead is either going to snap out of it or run like hell. *eg* And I wanna watch! Is there any harm in that, huh, is there...well too bad if there is. :p
p.s. I will learn how to do the tag, but for now everyone can ignore my ranting if they want because that's what I will be using this journal for since I havn't one at home that will be respected.
I know, I know, don't play child parent with him. :pppp
I don't care....