( 016 ) every drop numbs the both of us, but i alone am staggering.
Whoa, I haven't updated in a while. On Thursday I was at the Ice Skating rink where I met up with Nate. At first, I couldn't remember how to skate, but then everything came back to me. Nate offered to help me skate . . I think I'm developing a crush. Er, right. I started to show off my um, moves, and I made Nate chase me. He ended up falling, which made me feel so horrible for some reason. Sorry about that, by the way. It was really great hanging out with him and I hope he and I could do it again. Did I say I kind of like him already? I mean, maybe I fall for guys too hard.. Like any guy who even talks to me, I fall head over heels for them. Maybe I'm just crazy. Maybe he was just being friendly, and doesn't like me at all which I'm hoping. I'm not making any sense .. I think I'm going to shut up now.
For the rest of the weekend I sat on my couch watching reruns of family guy & futurama. Oh, last night Hazel and I went to Wasaga . . and from what I can remember, it was interesting. There was a party .. and a bottle of Grey Goose vodka .. and I think I may have done some irresponsible shit. I really don't know what happened. Yesterday. Yesterday was her birthday and that's why I drank. Cause when shit gets tough, I numb myself so I won't have to feel. I only have fragment memories of last night floating around in my mind, and I'm having a problem piecing them together. I remember I spent at least an hour searching for Hazel, and this guy was clinging onto my waist. Thinking about last night makes me want to puke.. So I come home drunk, and sign online. Toby IM's me and I start talking to him, completely wasted. I think I'm supposed to get Toby drunk and go clubbing with him tonight.. but I may be dreaming up that part of the conversation.
I swore to myself that I was over drinking & smoking & drugs & partying .. but showing from last night, I'm irresponsible and can't be left alone for five seconds. I convinced myself over and over again that I can change but I can't even believe the words that are coming out of my mouth. Once you become something, it is so hard to change.. And I want to, I swear I want to.
For the rest of the weekend I sat on my couch watching reruns of family guy & futurama. Oh, last night Hazel and I went to Wasaga . . and from what I can remember, it was interesting. There was a party .. and a bottle of Grey Goose vodka .. and I think I may have done some irresponsible shit. I really don't know what happened. Yesterday. Yesterday was her birthday and that's why I drank. Cause when shit gets tough, I numb myself so I won't have to feel. I only have fragment memories of last night floating around in my mind, and I'm having a problem piecing them together. I remember I spent at least an hour searching for Hazel, and this guy was clinging onto my waist. Thinking about last night makes me want to puke.. So I come home drunk, and sign online. Toby IM's me and I start talking to him, completely wasted. I think I'm supposed to get Toby drunk and go clubbing with him tonight.. but I may be dreaming up that part of the conversation.
I swore to myself that I was over drinking & smoking & drugs & partying .. but showing from last night, I'm irresponsible and can't be left alone for five seconds. I convinced myself over and over again that I can change but I can't even believe the words that are coming out of my mouth. Once you become something, it is so hard to change.. And I want to, I swear I want to.