(no subject)
i never know where to begin when i start making a live journal entry, its like there's always this dilemma about starting it out, what i'm going to talk about, etc.
this time i'm not actually posting just because i feel like posting, i'm posting because i feel like rambling on and on, so go ahead and stop reading this right now if you're one of those who isn't actually interested in my journal.
sometimes i would feel like christina ricci's character from pumpkin because i was so astranged around mentally handicapped people, but after tonight, i feel like i accomplished something because i've become much more comfortable around them and have learned to act around them. not to sound horribly ignorant or anything, but i was unsure about how to treat the mentally handicapped. i feel so horrible for them, i wonder what's going through their heads, do they have complex thoughts like the average person has, and if so, are they extremely frustrated all of the time because they don't understand how to express those thoughts, or are they just as simple as they seem? i don't know, i feel like they're a mystery to me, and that scares me, i don't know what they're thinking. when sherri would look at me and just point at me i didn't know if she was just pointing because she could and she likes to do that or because she was trying to tell me something, something way more than a point, maybe she wanted to tell me she liked my scarf or maybe she wanted to tell me she was having a lot of fun or maybe she was upset about something. sometimes i just wanted to ask her why she kept pointing, what the hell it was accomplishing, but i realized all i could get out of her was a simple "yeah" or maybe a grunt.
god i sound like some little snotty, ignorant child, but i'm trying, i really am.
i feel like i'm actually growing as a person by doing this, i'm going outside of my comfort zone and doing something different, i'm learning how i am in different situations, i'm doing something charitable.
i just rock, okay?
this time i'm not actually posting just because i feel like posting, i'm posting because i feel like rambling on and on, so go ahead and stop reading this right now if you're one of those who isn't actually interested in my journal.
sometimes i would feel like christina ricci's character from pumpkin because i was so astranged around mentally handicapped people, but after tonight, i feel like i accomplished something because i've become much more comfortable around them and have learned to act around them. not to sound horribly ignorant or anything, but i was unsure about how to treat the mentally handicapped. i feel so horrible for them, i wonder what's going through their heads, do they have complex thoughts like the average person has, and if so, are they extremely frustrated all of the time because they don't understand how to express those thoughts, or are they just as simple as they seem? i don't know, i feel like they're a mystery to me, and that scares me, i don't know what they're thinking. when sherri would look at me and just point at me i didn't know if she was just pointing because she could and she likes to do that or because she was trying to tell me something, something way more than a point, maybe she wanted to tell me she liked my scarf or maybe she wanted to tell me she was having a lot of fun or maybe she was upset about something. sometimes i just wanted to ask her why she kept pointing, what the hell it was accomplishing, but i realized all i could get out of her was a simple "yeah" or maybe a grunt.
god i sound like some little snotty, ignorant child, but i'm trying, i really am.
i feel like i'm actually growing as a person by doing this, i'm going outside of my comfort zone and doing something different, i'm learning how i am in different situations, i'm doing something charitable.
i just rock, okay?