Nine out of ten movie stars make me cry
At first it looked like it was going to be a sexual dream. I was my friend Christine's house, and I felt really horny, even though she was with her boyfriend. (Christine more closely resembled Rachael Snyder, her of over three years ago now.) Everyone left for some reason, so I took off all of my clothes and started to masturbate. All of a sudden the mailman comes to the desk I was sitting at, he plops the mail down and starts talking about the weather. But then he keeps talking, and he makes a mention of my nudity and I realized that he's hitting on me, and he's no mailman at all but instead he's a friend of Christine-really-Rachael's. Well, everyone comes back and it's a costume party, people I don't know swarm the house (which is actually my friend Erin's house, and so I begin to think that I'm in Belmar) and they're all wearing masks. That's when I realized the mail-man wasn't really a mail-man, except now he's come to resemble Kerry's brother. Graham comes into the room, and at this point my father calls my cell phone to remind me to pick him up - I am very late in doing so.
So I left with Graham, but I forgot something at Christine-who-is-actually-Rachael's house-that-is-actually-Erin's. I don't remember what it was now, a pair of gloves I think, but I turned around in order to get it. But every time I turned around, I would just be heading back on the same road - it was like I was trying to get back to the dream but that avenue was closed off, somehow. All of a sudden there were these cop cars behind us, and I look and see people have their guns drawn, they wanted to ask us questions about some murder that had taken place on the street a few minutes ago, and sure enough I turned around and there was a smoking ruin of a house. They took us in.
They let Graham go immediately, after something like twenty seconds. They weren't so sure with me - people kept coming into the station past the room they held me in. They police kept asking me the same questions, and it's clear the lead investigator person, who resembles Columbo, doesn't believe what I'm telling him, although I am telling the truth. Then I remembered, I'm in Belmar so I tell "hey, not for nothing, but I know the sheriff's daughter [actually just a police captain] pretty well, if you want a character reference or something, because i would never do any of these things you are suggesting i could've." The weird thing was: I couldn't remember
They let me go, but I stepped outside to find Graham, because by now it was extremely late to pick up my father. I walked out of the station down a large hallway, but the door was too small for me to get into. I turned around to find another way out, but suddenly the hallway had turned into a closet, made out of clear walls. And then I realized that this didn't make sense, that none of this makes sense, that this was the second time I was trying to find something that I couldn't do, and so I realized I was dreaming. But I couldn't wake up.
So I started throwing myself against the wall, shouting "wake up!" I don't remember now if this was out of pure frustration or trying to shake myself awake, but all of a sudden the door opened, or rather it grew enough so that I could get in. I opened it and there was a conveyor belt. I got on the belt and there was another hallway, with another door. But the arrows were pointed in the opposite direction. I went through that door, the entire time thinking, "wake up, this isn't going right." But I couldn't wake up, and the door opened into this airport terminal with all of these people running around. And I thought "oh my God, I can't wake up; did I die? Am I in hell?" Because I was trying to rationally put the sequence of the dream in an order, and I didn't remember anything after being let go from the station, so I thought that I had died in a car crash on the way to get my dad. And that I was in hell, and this was my version of hell, to be trapped someplace, going somewhere that I never arrive to. I stopped to ask someone - "is this a dream? Did I die and is this hell?" So the guy says, "I don't know if you're dreaming or not." So I say, "okay, then kick me. If I can feel it, I'm not dreaming. So he kicks me and I don't feel it, and he says: "you must be in hell."
And at this point I will myself to wake up, wake up wake up wake up I think, and then I'm in bed but it's still the dream, and I know that I didn't really wake up but it looks enough like my bedroom to have me wonder, because it looks just enough not like it - my bed is the wrong size, the debris is wrong, there's a chandelier - so I run out of my bed and into my parents room. Their bed is blocking my entry, it's just the springs propped upright, but my Dad is behind it and he's asking what's wrong. I told him, "I just don't know what's real anymore."
And then I awoke for real.
(There was an earlier aspect of this dream, where I knew that I was dreaming, and I was trying to conjure up a woman to make love to. But it didn't work - I don't know the person I decided to do it with, but when I tried to make it happen I opened my eyes and I was kissing myself.)
So I left with Graham, but I forgot something at Christine-who-is-actually-Rachael's house-that-is-actually-Erin's. I don't remember what it was now, a pair of gloves I think, but I turned around in order to get it. But every time I turned around, I would just be heading back on the same road - it was like I was trying to get back to the dream but that avenue was closed off, somehow. All of a sudden there were these cop cars behind us, and I look and see people have their guns drawn, they wanted to ask us questions about some murder that had taken place on the street a few minutes ago, and sure enough I turned around and there was a smoking ruin of a house. They took us in.
They let Graham go immediately, after something like twenty seconds. They weren't so sure with me - people kept coming into the station past the room they held me in. They police kept asking me the same questions, and it's clear the lead investigator person, who resembles Columbo, doesn't believe what I'm telling him, although I am telling the truth. Then I remembered, I'm in Belmar so I tell "hey, not for nothing, but I know the sheriff's daughter [actually just a police captain] pretty well, if you want a character reference or something, because i would never do any of these things you are suggesting i could've." The weird thing was: I couldn't remember
They let me go, but I stepped outside to find Graham, because by now it was extremely late to pick up my father. I walked out of the station down a large hallway, but the door was too small for me to get into. I turned around to find another way out, but suddenly the hallway had turned into a closet, made out of clear walls. And then I realized that this didn't make sense, that none of this makes sense, that this was the second time I was trying to find something that I couldn't do, and so I realized I was dreaming. But I couldn't wake up.
So I started throwing myself against the wall, shouting "wake up!" I don't remember now if this was out of pure frustration or trying to shake myself awake, but all of a sudden the door opened, or rather it grew enough so that I could get in. I opened it and there was a conveyor belt. I got on the belt and there was another hallway, with another door. But the arrows were pointed in the opposite direction. I went through that door, the entire time thinking, "wake up, this isn't going right." But I couldn't wake up, and the door opened into this airport terminal with all of these people running around. And I thought "oh my God, I can't wake up; did I die? Am I in hell?" Because I was trying to rationally put the sequence of the dream in an order, and I didn't remember anything after being let go from the station, so I thought that I had died in a car crash on the way to get my dad. And that I was in hell, and this was my version of hell, to be trapped someplace, going somewhere that I never arrive to. I stopped to ask someone - "is this a dream? Did I die and is this hell?" So the guy says, "I don't know if you're dreaming or not." So I say, "okay, then kick me. If I can feel it, I'm not dreaming. So he kicks me and I don't feel it, and he says: "you must be in hell."
And at this point I will myself to wake up, wake up wake up wake up I think, and then I'm in bed but it's still the dream, and I know that I didn't really wake up but it looks enough like my bedroom to have me wonder, because it looks just enough not like it - my bed is the wrong size, the debris is wrong, there's a chandelier - so I run out of my bed and into my parents room. Their bed is blocking my entry, it's just the springs propped upright, but my Dad is behind it and he's asking what's wrong. I told him, "I just don't know what's real anymore."
And then I awoke for real.
(There was an earlier aspect of this dream, where I knew that I was dreaming, and I was trying to conjure up a woman to make love to. But it didn't work - I don't know the person I decided to do it with, but when I tried to make it happen I opened my eyes and I was kissing myself.)