(no subject)
omg. i'm such an idiot. today is the worst day of my life. first.. tyler forgets that we were going to hang today. then his friends harrass me over myspace. then i get jealous over how he can just hang out with his friends yet he has to make plans with me weeks in advance. and ontop of all of that i finally told him that i was fed up with him pressuring me to tell him that i like him, and i also told him that i just don't know anymore. i'm just.. so upset and confuse. i need the world to just stop for a day and let me just live and sleep with no connection to anyone and just be there so i don't have anyone wondering if i'm OK or make me do something or talk to people. i need to.. at least then i don't say anything to quickly and make a fool of myself.
i wish boys could understand girls because Tyler has no idea how girls feel. i can't wait for band camp.. that way i don't have to deal with any of this shit.
goodnight.
EDIT: OK.. how fucked up is to have one of your friends himilated by some of your own friends and not give a fuck? WHAT THE FUCK? OMFG. I am... so angry. How do you do that?! Why does always happen to me? why can't i have a friend in which i can tell everything to? i tried to be friends with tyler. like real friends but he already has two best friends. what room is there for little old me? why shouldn't be able to complain without thinking, i'm just some fucking retard. I just want.. a best friend. Katie can only go so far. its just not.. fair. life is not fair at all. i'm going to die alone and more then likely at a young age. OMG. I'm just so upset over Tyler. I think I actually liked him. That is not out the window. He's just so inconsideate.Why can't I get a boyfriend? Why are boys so dense? OK so this makes three boys that I've liked this year and I never dated any of them Carl, Paul, and Tyler. I'm even friends with two of them and now the third one is out of the window now.
Today.. when those girls were messaging me. I was helpless. I felt like I was back in the sixth grade again and being made fun of because i had no boobs, etc. I fucking hate my life.
My senior year is going to blow. Why did finley have to leave this year?! Why? I want finley and dunlap back. I want the old band back. I want Mrs. Holstein gone. I don't know what I'm going to with the rest of my life. and i'll probably never figure out. I hate it.
hnn..
i wish boys could understand girls because Tyler has no idea how girls feel. i can't wait for band camp.. that way i don't have to deal with any of this shit.
goodnight.
EDIT: OK.. how fucked up is to have one of your friends himilated by some of your own friends and not give a fuck? WHAT THE FUCK? OMFG. I am... so angry. How do you do that?! Why does always happen to me? why can't i have a friend in which i can tell everything to? i tried to be friends with tyler. like real friends but he already has two best friends. what room is there for little old me? why shouldn't be able to complain without thinking, i'm just some fucking retard. I just want.. a best friend. Katie can only go so far. its just not.. fair. life is not fair at all. i'm going to die alone and more then likely at a young age. OMG. I'm just so upset over Tyler. I think I actually liked him. That is not out the window. He's just so inconsideate.Why can't I get a boyfriend? Why are boys so dense? OK so this makes three boys that I've liked this year and I never dated any of them Carl, Paul, and Tyler. I'm even friends with two of them and now the third one is out of the window now.
Today.. when those girls were messaging me. I was helpless. I felt like I was back in the sixth grade again and being made fun of because i had no boobs, etc. I fucking hate my life.
My senior year is going to blow. Why did finley have to leave this year?! Why? I want finley and dunlap back. I want the old band back. I want Mrs. Holstein gone. I don't know what I'm going to with the rest of my life. and i'll probably never figure out. I hate it.
hnn..