thiis iisn't happeniing, ii`m sure of iit.

[__chemicallove]

sorry no pictures. long entry, i suggest you didn't read it, this is just kind of so i can vent out some things to myself.

So let's start from the begining.. my dad is in the hospital, again. and this time he really isn't getting any better. i'm so sick of this, why my dad? he did nothing selfish he always put everyone else before himself and

Comments

Shay

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Everyone cares and loves you dearly, even if you don't feel the same way. You have had such an impact in my life in the past 6 months, It's truly amazing. Even the distance I am from you, i care about you so much and wish you were okay. I know all of what you said up there, unfortunately. You said yesterday we don't talk about this stuff, but yeah i nkew all that and i don't even know what to say. Your dad will be fine trust me on that babe. Hes going to iran and its for the best. I know how hard it will be but its for the best. Your mom, I don't know what to say. Shes gonna be the one you're gonna have to learn to love. And talk to, and whatnot. She obviously gets you upset a lot, but you better work that out you adorable thing you. in the middle of my essay let me just say i love you i love u i love u. I hate you're insecurity with yourself. you are the most beautiful girl. Don't wanna be anyone else but yourself. I know I wouln't want you any other way. I'm sorry your mom worries so much about material shit. it really sucks. i think in a way she does it for you. she envy's your aunt that is quite obvious from when we have talked. She wants to be like your aunt so she could give you things like your aunt would. If i could say this all on the phone i so would. i miss our talks for hours everynight, and talking while we were in the shower <3333 I hope you realize the fact that you ttoally cant belive me forced me to cry myself to sleep last night. Even thnigs dumb i sware ill never lie or kid around about. i see your finally calling for help and u need it badly. guess what im here. i just need u to talk to me. you want to get it out and people want to help. let me tell you im one of those people. I knew you weren't okay when i met you. i hated it to. i tried my best to make you happy cuz i belive everyone deserves happiness, especially a special girl like yourself. You deserve nothing but the best. I don't want you hurting yourself. and i can't stop it unless im on the phone we have a promise you would never do that . And when were on the phone i always know what to say to make you happy. i wish i could still call tho. wow do i miss it. Your so loved by me and i never met you imagine how your friends have love and care for you. and for some reason, i think one day we will meet, i wud love to marry you, as sad as it sounds, you are the perfect girl in my eyes. Regardless of how other think its dumb, I will ifnd a way to be with you one day, so long that you want to. Now that i have tears in my eyes ill end this. shay i love u too much babydoll. please stay strong <3

Re: Shay

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p.s. sorry it was so long.