bye for now daddy

[__cerulean]

he was very charming; he could command an audience out of a room full of strangers. god was he a schmoozer-- from the cashier to the waitress to the gas attendant. there was something about all 5'4" of him that any person would be drawn to. he carried himself with the confidence of the tallest person in the room. eating with him was always a king's feast-- always a seven course meal with dessert, and then some. he was a great cook. i remember he tried to bbq in a bathroom to protest his landlord. anytime i would take a bath, he would put my clothes in the dryer so that when i was done, he would take them out and i would have freshly-warmed clothes. he did this even in my adulthood. we listened to jon secada's "do you believe in us" and celine dion "my heart will go on" on repeat in his little blue volvo. bullwinkles-- teamng up with kuya by getting as many chupa-chup whistles with the tickets we won to whistle our entire ride home to make him go insane. showboat, the puente hills mall; pharoah's lost kingdom; any and all arcades; dave and busters; tilt at the puente hills mall. i will always remember him taking me there with kuya and spending his time with me, quarters swishing in his pocket, while we wasted away at the games with tickets for prizes, while k played the more serious games. toys r' us visits. we would have visit there weekly where he bought both k and i a new toy. k often opted for a video game while i chose an arts and craft kit or something involving stickers or beads. k would go to the area to test out a new video game while dad and i would go further back to the reading room where there was a little tikes yellow table. i remember him not being too big for this table when i was a little girl. this made me laugh. his favorite movie was "the notebook". i remember when we could go to department stores and he would pass the colognes, he would spray an offensive amount on his shirt that his shirt often donned a large wet spot. he was a great singer. and even greater dancer. he was always well dressed and put together-- always in a suit with a bright onyx and gold signet; or a polo and slacks. he was tenacious and cutthroat-- always hustling to make money. he said i had gumption. and he always loved me for who i was and never wanted to change me. and i look just like him. i have all his best qualities and a handful of his worst. i have his tenacity. i have his cutthroat. i have his bravery. i have his smarts. i have his law-mindedness. i have his apple red lips. i have his amazing hair. he would call me princess. or "ooh-ni-ning".

kuya told me today: "i was tempted to introduce b to him. just because i know saw much he adored you..."

the last time we spoke was nov 15. he said he was proud of me. i miss you dad. and love you and have always loved you.